The Scam of an International Women's Day

If you've been on social media today, you likely have been made aware that today is International Women's Day.  I have to be honest - I don't know if I quite remember it much before last year, although it is reported to have an origin in New York City organized by the Socialist Party of America in 1909. 

On social media today, I saw women that I respect and enjoy hanging out with display links to women that they think are killing it in the realm of business or breaking barriers or whatever else is out there that ought to be celebrated.  They highlighted pictures of their best friends, their mothers, their sisters, and women in business.  They brought attention to the fact that women are out there and they are making things happen.

While I am glad that they are associating strength and success and potentially even a desire to emulate these women, (are you ready for a shock?) I find myself disagreeing with the whole premise.

I actually find it insulting and off-putting.

I think that highlighting the achievements of women because they are women is the equivalent of posting extra thirsty cleavage shots and pretending that you're asking for feedback on your necklace.  It's desperate and it debases those highlighted.

Hear me out.  If you are female and you truly believe that you are able to compete in every way with a man (within physical reason - and yes, I said it.  I'm 103 pounds.  I'm not going to be able to beat my dudes benching 270 - yet, anyway.  Will I give it a chance based on percentage and bench more than my weight?  You know it.  Will I try to do more pull ups than them?  Absolutely.  Which, by the way, I'm at 12 and still climbing.), why would you point out achievements only because you are female?  Shouldn't you rather be pointing out achievements and amazing accomplishments and humans of note because of those very things and not because they were born without the coveted blessing of a peepee (does this very idea not readily and obviously admit that you view yourself as less when you chase after it?)?  Do you secretly and subconsciously cling to the belief that men are better than you, and that in order for you to fight the social injustice of it all, you must stand on your soapbox for one day each year and loudly declare and demand attention for yourself - attention that you suppose you would not otherwise get without having a special day dedicated to you because you can't figure a way to compete on your own of your own merit?

Perhaps at this point you would argue that society is male-centered and is set up to benefit men, and that they are creating the narrative and it is unfair.

Do you know what I hear in that?  An excuse.

Do you believe that you are able to do things or not?  This makes it difficult to truly decipher between what you are saying and how you are behaving.

Most women are not leveling up because they don't actually believe that they are even in the game in the first place.  As I mention "the game", I want to be clear that this is not a game of two teams, in particular, the boys vs. the girls.  This is the game of life, being played by everyone on the planet.  I don't need to prove to you, some man, or anyone else that I am worthy of being deemed successful or anything else because I am female.  That is insulting.  That is petty and quite frankly, feels beneath me.

When I was growing up, I was always the shortest and smallest person in my class.  I was the shortest and smallest person on my sports teams.  I was the shortest and smallest person everywhere.  Even though I knew that was the case, I was very blessed to grow up in a family that never made that an excuse as to why I couldn't beat someone else.  In fact, I didn't know that there were some people out there who thought that because you were bigger and stronger that you would probably win.  I didn't even have this concept in my head.  Instead, the concept I had in my head was, "Do you want this?  Do you want it more than the next person?  What must be done to get it?  What are you willing to do to get it?"  

I remember my mom recounting a story of me in high school.  It was my senior year and I was at a home swim meet.  I competed in breaststroke and the 100 was about to start.  I walked over to my lane, flanked on both sides by girls from the other team.  I walked up to the starting blocks and did what I always did - stretched myself out and got myself pumped up by stretching my arms and then my legs, grabbing the blocks and frog jumping a few times, staring down the lane and imagining my race.  My parents were in the stands and my mom tells the story that two girls who were almost a foot taller than me and 50-60 pounds more were watching me instead of getting their own minds ready for the race.  She watched their faces as they became increasingly unsteady and lost confidence.  I didn't even know that they existed and didn't even look at them.  I was there for the race.  I won.  I thought nothing of that win outside of the fact that I knew I had done what I needed to do to achieve that outcome.

In business and achievement, I'm not competing with imaginary men (or women).  I'm out there doing my thing, with my eyes on my race.  I can assure you, however, that on race day - whatever that may mean literally or figuratively depending on the circumstance - I am going to level it up and I don't care if you are male or female or an elephant or a unicorn, I am going to give it what I have because of who I am as an individual - not because I am a woman.

Let us all ask those questions - Do you want this?  Do you want it more than the next person?  What must be done to get it?  What are you willing to do to get it?  

Let us not denigrate ourselves as individuals by too much associating and identifying as what society tells us we are as a group. 

Go out and get what you want because you want it and you will work for it.  Use the smart brain that you have to figure out how to do that.  Do not emulate someone solely because of their gender - instead, admire the tenacity of their character.  Be inspired by their drive.  Let the fire of what you want be torched higher because you have chosen to surround yourself by people who tirelessly seek excellence.

Don't be put in a box, lovelies.  You're so much bigger than that.

Peace, love, and don't freaking quit,
Ms. Daisy

The Year the World Lost Its Entire Mind

Hello lovelies!

I'm writing to you from the middle of June in the year of our Lord 2020, a time in which all persons inhabiting our once beloved planet are absolutely and wholeheartedly certain of one thing: we hit the tipping point and tipped waaaay over.

Is it because of the rona?  No - unless you have hooked yourself up to an IV of CNN, you are easily able to see that the predicted terror ended up being quite a bit of an overblown issue (not to say that it didn't exist or affect people - it did, but not at the levels we were being terrorized with initially).  The rona was so like, spring 2020 and we are totes like, mega over it.  Figuratively and literally (if you hear of the waving of a "second wave" flag, I'm pretty sure it's because the media misses all of those clicks and the powers that be miss all of the diabolical levels of control they get out of bludgeoning the masses with the scaries.  That level of power is highly addictive.), quite frankly.

Is it the media-stimulated race riots?  No, but it is linked to that.

Is it ANTIFA burning down buildings and smashing windows with bricks and making a lovely tent village with speeches and dance parties for themselves where naked people run down the street saying that they are prophets looking for their children, proudly declaring that they aren't part of the United States (but rather, "Chazikstan"), while still using our wifi, EMS and hospitals for the drug overdoses, building (the very literal and social) walls (that they ironically hate and riot and terrorize about), and silencing any differing opinion?  Well, no, but that touches the fringes of it.  (And if you're mad about Chazikstan, I hear you, but just let them be for a couple weeks and you can have a front row to watching the inevitible rise and fall of a very sad social experiment.)

No, it is none of those things, and neither is it even the chaos of the liberties that people have allowed to be stripped away from them out of fear.

What is it, then?

It is the silencing of rational discourse with the rise of cancel culture.

Could it be any more in your face (literally?) to silence people symbolically by forcing them to wear a mask, stripping them of their identity, individuality, oxygen levels, and muzzling them while taping directions on the floor of their local grocery store, telling them how they ought to walk?  This is the physical that has translated to the emotional, out into the atmosphere, that is now flying around the internet-sphere.  And flying it is.

Over the last couple weeks, we have seen countless examples of the vocal mob crying out to crucify anyone and anything that they deem as inappropriate, whether or not the person's opinion was justifiably and/or intentionally offensive or not.  This crucifixion is not only social, by people declaring they are now unfollowing them on social media (OH, THE SEARING PAIN!), but it is an outcry to demolish their livelihood, business, passions, and future.  This is once again a physical parallel in domestic terrorism of the destruction and arson of physical buildings as a result of the emotional world.

What once was "only" name-calling (you misogynistic, transphobic, fascist, homophobic, sexist, racist!) and slander on social media as a result of differing opinions is now full-blown catastrophic destruction if someone is caught in the crossfire and dares to think for themselves outside of the popular groupthink that is making an attempt to burn through the nation. 

Why did that name-calling start?

Name-calling in this realm exists most often from people shying away from the difficult work of digging through something together in order to try to understand another viewpoint. 

You don't like what someone is saying and you don't want to consider their points?  Call them a name.  Block that conversation from going anywhere.  Feel much better about yourself.  Nod in victory at your obvious moral high ground.  Threaten to unfollow, share with friends.  Spread the virus of the inability to have an intelligent conversation over a subject with which you strongly disagree.  Never even entertain that any aspect of their point of view could be valid because you are busy not listening to anything they are saying, convinced of your superiority.  Such intelligence.  So noble.  So big brain.

What harm could it do?

That is the catalyst that has led to a college football coach grovelling and begging for forgiveness because he wore a certain t-shirt while fishing. His running back, offended at the sight of his coach wearing an OAN News Network t-shirt while fishing tweeted that it was unacceptable and that he will not be doing anything with Oklahoma State until things change. 

I just want you to back up one second really quick with me here.  A man went fishing at his leisure.  He wore a t-shirt with the emblem of a news network on it.  Another person saw it and threatened to quit working with him because of it.  The university said that they would not "tolerate insensitive behavior" such as this rude TV network t-shirt wearing fisherman. 

Please.  Go with me for just a second.  This is the United States of America.  You can dye your hair purple.  You can identify as a tree.  You can fill your backyard with rocks.  You can drive a car that has figurines glued to the roof.  You can dance the cha-cha slide.  You can play basketball at midnight in your driveway.  You can refuse to shower for a week.  You can wear a skirt with combat boots.  You can tattoo your neck.  You can name your kid after viruses.  Why?  Because whether you like all of the results or not, we have the freedom of expression.  We are entitled to our own opinions.  We have the liberty to come to our own conclusions and to express them within our free society.  (Yes, I'll admit - that's getting harder for many to practice as we are bombarded with propaganda for what and how to think, but it still exists.)

This bizarre example is not one that is few and far between.  The founder of CrossFit, Greg Glassman, was stripped of his position for tweeting the opinion that there were some that were taking advantage of the death of George Floyd and manipulating it (just as had been done with Covid-19) by his tweet that stated, "FLOYD-19".  Furious tweeters demanded his resignation, saying that he was racist, and then pulled his business partners in, demanding that they withdraw from their partnership (like Reebok).  Reebok jumped ship, terrified to be associated with anything that the masses declared scandalous. His history of funding and supporting people of color did not matter to anyone, nor did anyone want to open up that door to conversation.  They wanted to call him a racist and end him, and that is what they did.

Whether or not you agree that he ought to have tweeted that, and whether or not you agree with his opinion, it is still only his opinion.  It is within the realm of his freedom of speech to declare such things.  You don't have to like it.  You don't have to agree.  You don't have to be friends with him.  But just because you disagree with another person does not mean that they should be silenced and destroyed. It is the mark of intelligence and maturity to be able to have a conversation with someone that you disagree with, and it is the embodiment of a free society to be able to express your personal views, whether they be popular or not.

Another aspect of the danger of groupthink was displayed recently with masses of people displaying black squares all over social media in an attempt to gain traction to end racism.  Perhaps I have been fortunate to surround myself with people for my whole life who think the very idea of racism is absolutely absurd to hold and expressly intolerable - in fact, I've only been aware of a very small handful of people who have ever vocalized anything overtly negative about people of color, and those people were very old and are now dead.  I don't know any person in my generation who has ever leaned positively toward becoming a racist.  It is the very fact of why so many scurry from even the hint of any behavior that would be linked to it.  Am I a minority for that?  I don't know for sure, but I have a hunch that even if a person was closeting feelings of racial superiority, they would never dare express it because they know it is wrong and that it is offensive, as they should.

With that being said, though, what happened on black square Tuesday on social media did not necessarily lend a hand in the right direction to fight racism.  Instead, what it did was influence people to behave a certain way and to display a signal to others that they were not racist and that they were going to prove it.  Instead of being comfortable with who they are (knowing in their heart that they were not racist) and displaying it in real life, in action, in loving others as they ought, they felt discomfort that someone might accuse them of being racist for their sin of omission of not following the masses and what was trending that day by not displaying a black square.

Certainly there were many who were passionate about connecting to other races of people - and we know that they are because they live it in their everyday life.  It was already part of who they are and at the front of their minds, but I fear that the majority of people who posted that did so more out of the fear that others would think less of them if they didn't.  That is not fighting racism.  That is unthinkingly following the vocal mob.  If you need to prove that you are not a racist with a black square, maybe you need to do a little bit more soul searching and think deeply about where you are at and what you believe.  The whole world is better when you're thinking critically.

Where do we go from here?  I beg that you connect with people who don't think like you and who are not like you, not so that you can call them names or crucify them on social media, but to explore the other side in an effort to truly understand - to expand yourself.  I encourage you to shun cancel culture wherever you see it as it is the very epitome of silencing voices.  But most of all, I encourage you to think for yourself and to use the liberty you have to express your own thoughts. 

You never know, your thoughts and opinions might not be a scary minority, even if the media tries to tell you that they are.  But even if you do not hear many other voices like your own, if you're not you, what are you even doing with your life?  Who are you?  Speak up.  The free society deserves it.

Peace, love, and think for yourself,
Ms. Daisy

The Fear Factory

'Ello lovelies!  (Go back and try again in a British accent if you didn't do that the first time around.)

What a year so far, amirite?

It's been enough of a wild ride on the free-flowing, wavy scrolls of hoarded toilet paper, diving deep into the deepest depths of oceans of hand sanitizer for any of us to likely want to climb aboard the crazy train again any time soon.

I am sure that many of us have had significant time to ponder and reflect on many new things (including - but not limited to - what you might trade toilet paper for and if you were going to be adventurous enough to make your own hand sanitizer from your liquor cabinet).  There are a few things that I have been rolling over in my head and I thought to share one with you today.  Are you ready for a ride into my brain?  It's wilder than the life of a Costco toilet paper roll.

I think that if there was one emotion that could be collected and weighed across all of humanity starting somewhere in late winter, fear would come in first place.  In many of our lifetimes, we have never had to deal with something that had such a wide span, affecting so many all at once.  One day we woke up and schools were closed.  And then the next day, they were closed for the year (three months out).  The next day, people were afraid of airports.  The next day, people were working from home.  The next day, we watched Italy singing from balconies, locked in their homes.  The next day, we were locked in our homes and high fives and hugs were essentially declared illegal.  The next, they took away baseball.  The next, people started wearing hazmat suits and disinfecting their groceries.

There is absolutely no reason that you could have ever gotten to a hazmat suit and a pile of $37 N95 masks that you burn inside out in your driveway on the way in and tossing your Rice Krispies into a bathtub of bleach without being completely terrified of something.  Three and half months ago, if you would have done that, they would have called 911 and put you into a mental institution.  Today, you're asked for your bleach concentration recipe and stared at for your tremendously stylish hazmat outfit.

How did it get that way?  It was that a lot of people truly believed the worst of what they were seeing in the media, and not only that - they believed it was probably going to happen to them and to their loved ones.  Imagining dangerous things happening to you and your loved ones is probably one of the strongest catalysts for change and wild unnatural behavior that you could ever find on the spectrum of humanity.

As people dove in headfirst, the media felt the exhilarating rush of clicks.  They upped the coverage.  The clicks went exponential.  The media stood in their quarantined offices with their fingers spread out to the sky, eyeballs flickering, purple-blue electricity pouring out of their wrinkled fingertips,  voices suddenly strengthening, and erupting with, "No, no!  YOU WILL DIE! Unlimited power!" while launching Samuel L. Jackson into the sky.  In a few short moments of our life, all news turned into coronanews.  In fact, in the first few weeks, I saw an infographic that showed the amount of times a word had been mentioned in the news.  Ebola was in the millions over the course of the entire epidemic.  According to Sprinklr, a company that tracks language and trends and helps manage social media images and brands, just on one single day - February 28 - 6.7 million people mentioned the rona on Twitter and on social media platforms.

 Personally, I am not one who likes to submerge myself into the news machine.  I don't want to support the media getting ad revenue for their hysterical hype, leveraging the novelty of a pandemic to benefit themselves financially. As they play on people's vulnerability and panic, they push others into a downhill spiral, scouring the world to shock them daily with more terrors and horrors, digging up the most random one-off experience you wouldn't find unless you were on page 19 of a google search, and then making it front page news.

I don't know if you noticed this, but it seemed that all of the media everywhere only had about six stories to pick from to broadcast on any given day. No matter what news outlet it was, they were all saying the same thing.  It was like it was either completely lazy journalism (and I use that term very loosely) or otherwise a very united front to decide what stories were going to make it to your homepage.  Those headlines would sit on top, ready to be gobbled up by the eager clicking masses who had barely just opened their eyes for the day, and then re-spread in various degrees across social media, infiltrating every crack and corner of life, giving people the Next New Thing To Freak Out About.

(And then their cortisol levels from stress tanked their immune systems, and they worried more into a perpetual spiral, making themselves more vulnerable to the thing that they were most worried about. SLOW CLAP.  Awesome job.)

You can get people to do anything if you work up enough panic.  Rational, thinking, level-headed people will turn to bleaching their cereal boxes, turning their masked faces 180 degrees away from other's in terror, afraid to pick up a box of pasta without a gloved hand.  These small things are the proof that you can get them to do big things.

This is the place that we stand and wonder at society.  Where are you?  Is it possible that the media may have their own interest in mind?  Do you believe everything that you're told?  How much do you question?  What if you weren't afraid?  Wouldn't you like to feel that way again?  (I ask that knowing that there are some people who totally get off on panic, so even though it could be rhetorical, it isn't.)

You know what?  You don't have to watch the news.  You don't have to read the headlines.  You don't have to know every gory detail of what someone is putting out for you.  You don't have to wake up and throw yourself into panic and depression.  You can just do your thing.  You can avoid any scrolling through facebook.  You don't have to open it up at all.  You don't have to argue with those who disagree with you.  You don't have to read the news before you go to the grocery store.  You can just go.  You can go outside.  You can call your friends.  You can smile at people at the grocery store and interact like they are a human being instead of the Black Plague personified.  You can refuse to drown in it.

Do you know what happens when you do?  You feel a lot better.  You're not fueling people who don't have your best interest in mind.  You're not giving them power over your day and your emotions, creeping into your subconscious, prying one thing after another away from your once much happier life.  When something wild happens, you will be clearheaded enough to react appropriately to it, and not with a knee-jerk survival mode.

I just thought that you should know that you're not obligated.  Maybe you could try it for a day and see how you feel.  Or don't.  Whatever.  It's a free country.  Kinda.

Peace, love, and take back your brain,

Ms. Daisy

Watch Your Language: "Social Distancing"

Hello lovelies!

Have you heard the term "social distancing" before?  If you haven't, it is likely because you've been in a coma for a couple months or have just flown down from another planet.  Welcome, by the way!  You've landed in the middle of a story nobody could have believed even six months ago.

The first time I heard that phrase, I immediately thought, "That isn't the intention at all.  They've missed it completely!"  Isolation, yes.  Physical distance, yes.  But social distancing?  No.  Absolutely not.

We are social beings and thrive in community with one another.  That is why it is so harsh and repugnant in our souls to hear of those who have to live out a term of their life in solitary confinement (even though it may be warranted, we still furrow our brow at the thought of the experience).  That is why when we watch movies and see the hero in a dungeon, our guts wish him or her out of there as quickly as possible.  It is why the phrase "fomo" is a thing.  It is why we do so much of what we do (yes, like shave - the poor razor companies never saw this coming, either).  It is how new parents get through those first weeks without completely losing it.  It is why when researchers study "blue zones" (areas of the world that have a population that lives significantly longer than the average), they find that they one of the main components of longevity and quality of life is connectedness to others. 

Language is a very powerful thing.  As some of you know, I have a Finnish heritage.  Finland is a unique place - for many reasons.  The history of Finland is rife with attempted takeovers from Russia and Sweden, both of those countries battling to absorb little Finland into their empires, nearly taking turns to do so at every opportunity.

How did Finland withstand and persist in their own independence and freedom in spite of being attacked perpetually by much larger countries with much larger armies?

There are two reasons, and both are practical lessons for us today.

The first is sisu.  Sisu is a Finnish word with no exact English equivalent.  It embodies the philosophy and idea of persisting through what would have otherwise have been thought to be impossible, tenacity, grit, resilience, digging deep and defying the odds, and hitting the wall of what is thought to be possible, moving through it, and continuing to move forward, despite the physical and mental cries against doing so.  It is often referred to as a "second wind" - when one is certain that they cannot go one step further or endure one second more, and gritting their teeth and sustaining it anyway at whatever cost. 

Simo Häyhä

One of the most famous Finnish warriors was Simo Häyhä.  In the Winter War against giant Russia (the Soviet Union at that time) that started in 1939, Finland began with ten working tanks against Russia's 6500+, 114 aircraft (100 of which were unfit for war), and 300,000 soldiers against Russia's 760,000.  The soviets hoped to mop up Finland in a week or less, and with these numbers, they seemed that they had a good chance to do just that.

What the soviets did not have, however, was sisu.  When the Finns realized the odds that they were up against, they did not back down.  Instead, they dug deeper than ever to fight for their homes, for their families, and for the country and culture they deeply loved.  Dressed all in white, Finnish daredevils on skis would deliver Molotov cocktails - glass bottles filled with incendiaries, covered in tar, lit on fire and launched - shattering against soviet tanks and destroying them one by one.

Simo Häyhä was a one-of-a-kind warrior, however.  Instead of launching Molotov cocktails, he was a sniper.  He preferred not to even employ the use of a scope on his bolt-action rifle (as the light from the glass may have given away his position), he shoved snow in his mouth so that his breath in the cold would not be noticed, buried himself behind a mound of snow, and earned himself the nickname "The White Death" from the soviets.  In the four hours of Finnish winter daylight, he totaled more than 259 kills in just over 3 months.  He was awarded a medal for his sniper kills (which lasted from November 30 to March 7 - when he was injured by being shot in the face and having half of it blown off.  Spoiler: he lived - he regained consciousness a week later and lived until he was 96 years old.).  In his personal diary found in 2017, he admits a much higher number of kills, counting over 500 on his self-titled "sin list".

Besides possessing immense amounts of sisu, Finland won those wars and preserved their independence and freedom by guarding their language.  The Finns knew that any country that tried to overtake them would try to absorb their culture.  When your culture is absorbed, you may as well consider yourself truly annihilated.  In one generation, you can clear the whole of history - imagine traditions eradicated (like the sauna and ice swimming), and entire ways of life ceasing to be, only to be read about in history books and wondered over.

Finland knew that one of the strongest ways to preserve their culture was to tightly hang on to their language.  Minority societies can be much more easily overtaken if they give up their language and allow for it to be lost to a majority primary language in the area in which they live.  Language parallels power.  We see examples even today - Norway and Sweden are (rightly!) fighting to push back on English as it has begun to overtake academia and business.

Language is the construct of our communication and shapes our thoughts.  For this reason, we need to be careful and intentional in saying what we truly mean. 

Do you truly want to discourage the aspect of socialization?  Do you want to live in a way that is disconnected from your friends and loved ones?  Do you intend to socially isolate yourself?  That is what we imply as we regurgitate the phrase "social distancing".  I know that it seems like a small thing, but perpetuating that rhetoric is having a tremendous impact on our mental state, our culture, and our way of life. 

Have you ever seen so many people outside in the history of your life?  What are they doing?  What are they looking for? 

They are looking for others.  They are looking for connection.  They do not want to be alone, isolated, and cut off from their tribe.  They are looking for a smile, for eye contact. 

I would encourage you to deeply consider your language as we navigate this strange event.  We need others more than ever.  We need help, we need connection, we need to feel support, we need to feel that we are cared for.  Perhaps instead of using the term "social" distancing, we call it "physical distancing" or "physical isolation" or "separation".

You are not alone and you are not intended to be alone.  You have your community, those who love you, and those who are on your "ride or die" inner circle list.  Disconnecting from the human social fabric is not the new normal and it never will be.  Reach out to your people.  Even if you are physically separated, you are not socially removed.  We are not going out like this.  Hang on tight!  Have sisu!

Peace, love, sisu, and sending ridiculous amounts of double-armed, tight squeezing illegal hugs,
Ms. Daisy

I hate the Mockingjay 2 movie

I am about to go off into a flying rage about the Hunger Games: Mockingjay 2 movie.  If you haven't seen it but want to, I am going to include the ending of this movie in this rant so you may want to go elsewhere.

That was your warning.

I watched the first movie whenever it was that it came out and it was horribly disturbing to me.  The thought of sending people to kill each other in a fake weird televised cyberworld for entertainment is so sick and perverse that I couldn't get it out of my head for a week straight.  I wanted to puke when I thought of it.  

On Friday night I saw Mockingjay 2, the last of the Hunger Games trilogy. 

This movie is HORRIBLE.  (I can hear all of the faithful fans screaming, "Why?!")

Peeta.  That's why.

That and the blatant disdain for manly testosterone and the promotion of wimpy pansy pants men with zero cojones, you know, like Peeta.

Ga ga goo goo?

At the end of the movie, Katniss got out of her bed, walked down the hall, climbed into bed with lame Peeta (since he doesn't have a house and she is providing that for him, too), and he said, "You love me, real or not real?"  Now, I have to tell you, up to this point I had no question in my mind that she would eventually marry or be with Gale and that if she loved Peeta it was only because he was like some kind of suffering baby animal.  I figured she was using stupid Peeta (although I had no idea what for, since his positive qualities are: 1. can bake bread, and 2. can plant flowers.  I'm sure that Katniss could take care of figuring out how to get that done herself in about five minutes, so why would she want to hang around sad sack?) or she felt sorry for him since his brain was poisoned by Dictator Snow and she was just making sure to hang around him long enough until she knew he got better and then she could leave and go be with a real man.

Are you keeding me?

 When she said that she did love him, I literally put my hands on my head and closed my eyes.  MIND BLOWN.  What the HECK is going on around here?!  At this point of the movie, I almost got up and left.  I silently began muttering, "No.  You have got to be kidding me.  This is not happening."  The movie was ruined at that point and I could barely recall any redeeming qualities about why I wanted to see this stupid thing in the first place.

Peeta?  You want to be with Peeta, Katniss?  Are you freaking kidding me?  First of all, do you have a sight impairment?  Maybe you're legally blind?  Maybe you have severe dementia?  Yes, I know, looks are not everything.  I get that.  But seriously?  Have you seen Gale?  He's tall and extremely good-looking...and he's a soldier.  He protected your family, he can fight like a boss, he goes out in the woods and hunts with you, and he is capable of taking care of himself and you.  

 

Just on looks alone, Gale would have to be a murdering, molesting, crack dealer who eats children for breakfast in order for Peeta to even be able to be put into the same ring with him to compete.

And then there's Peeta.  He's short, has weird eyeballs, fluffy hobbit hair, he cries a lot, can't be trusted with any weapons, can't even take care of himself, and his favorite thought is probably, "Save me, Katniss!"  (That had to be said with a scrunched up baby face, pinkies in the air, and hands flapping for full effect.  Try it again.  There.  Now you get the full effect.)  Oh, but he can bake bread, so yeah, I mean, I totally get it.  Sign me up.  Right.  Why would any woman not be jumping at that one?  I'll bake my own dang bread, thankyouverymuch.  He is pretty much the definition of pure 100% unadulterated pansy.

I was literally bewildered at this twist of the movie.  

The complement of a strong woman is not a weak man.  The complement of a strong woman is a stronger man.  Katniss' character showed that she is more than capable of taking care of herself, which is what makes Gale's character so appealing as a match for her.  When you solely take care of yourself, it is even more special to have someone to be able to step in and take care of you.  You don't need it, but it is a gift.  It makes it all the more sweet and precious.  He was going to go with her when he figured out that she was going to go it alone.  He knew her and understood her enough to even see what she was going to do before she did it.  

Instead she picks painter pansy Peeta who we find playing in the dirt planting flowers.  Really?  And then has children with him?  What are you going to do if a bad guy comes to your house?
 
Peeta:  Katniss!  Help!  There's a bad guy at the door!
Katniss: Peeta, take the children and go hide and pretend to be rocks, I'll take care of this!  I have enough cojones for all of us!

My eyes are hurting from rolling so hard at the pathetic-ness of it.  Somebody give Peeta a lesson on sisu and push him out of a helicopter, please.

Perpetuating wimpiness (in general, but specifically in men) is not something to be applauded or rewarded.  This is perhaps what bothers me most about the movie.  So ugh.

Excuse me, I need to go do some pull ups.

Peace, love, and testosterone,
Ms. Daisy

 

Questions I Wish You Would Answer

1.  Why do children follow you when you are clearly walking into the other room, purposely away from them?  Do they have really bad skillz at reading social cues?  Or are they just trying to annoy you on purpose?

2.  Why do children get louder when you answer the phone?  Why does it sound like they are killing screaming animals when you take a business call?  ("I'm sorry, I can't hear you, it's just I'm standing here...in...a...um, nature center...where a wolf is...uh, eating a cat and a screech owl at the same time...")

 3.  Why do children pretend they don't like something that they like when they are grumpy?  You want grumpy?  I'll give you a big fat reason to be grumpy!  Did you just enrage the Mom Monster?!  Guess what?!  You just lost at life!

 4.  How much therapy do you think children will need from comments like, "Well, if you keep that up, I'll probably end up punching you in the throat/selling you to the gypsies/secretly moving to Italy/lighting that X-box on fire, so make a good decision please, thanks."

5.  How many times do you think you can feasibly answer the same question or say the same thing until you literally go straight up nuts?

6.   Is it wrong to record your whining child and threaten to put it on youtube?

7.  Why are the offspring of your own body so entirely and completely different from each other that you wonder if they have been abducted by aliens and given brain transplants?

8. Why is private school SO FREAKIN' EXPENSIVE?  It's not even that good!

9.  What time is the official time it is okay to start drinking ice wine on any given day?  (They sell it at the grocery store...no more need of Canadian vacationers...)

And the best thought: These are my monkeys, this is my circus, I only have a decade left to straighten it all out.  Awesome.

Peace, love, and of course everything is just fine, why do you ask?
Ms. Daisy

Our Society is Clearly Doomed: kid's cell phones - porn and a brain tumor

I saw a link for an article about whether or not a parent was too harsh for putting their child's iphone behind a picture frame because of their bad grades (with the words, "In case of B, break glass" on it).  Questioning taking a phone away - a smart phone at that - for for grades (or any reason, for crying out loud) is the blaring neon sign that we, as a society, have supremely failed.  After I rolled my eyes so hard it hurt and smacked my forehead and slid it dramatically and forcefully down my own face, I thought about how we are pretty much not going to continue as a society after the next generation.  It's pretty much guaranteed.  And for so many reasons.

First of all, giving your (especially young) child a smart phone is questionable in the first place.  Yeah, I know.  It's common.  "Everybody" has one.  Well, when I don't even have a smart phone, I can tell you that no offspring of mine will be getting one unless they have a job and they are paying for it.  Your kid needs a cell phone?  (Do you know what "need" means?)  How is that even possible?  Because he is never around other people who have a phone and can't use theirs?  Or do you not trust him to memorize your phone number well enough and need to program it in with a picture of your face so they don't screw up? 

A smart phone comes with a free pass to all that is on the internet.  Really?  You don't care that your 12 year-old son has access to everything on the interwebs?  I know I sound like a crazy tyrant, but if my offsprings are going online, I am sitting next to them or within earshot/view of what they're doing.  Call me crazy, but I'm not a superfan of having a preteen porn addict in my house, or having potential human traffickers hook up with my kid.

Besides all this, I wouldn't want to subject a small person to the amount of radiation emitted by a smart phone into their brains on their ears, into their boy (or girl) parts by sitting on their lap all the time, or otherwise.  CNET has a ranking for the top 20 highest radiating phones - Motorola Droid Maxx is #1 (and Motorola has taken gold, silver, and bronze in this list).  Check it out here.  I chose my phone from the reverse list and then found it on ebay for about $20.  Brain cancer? No thanks, I'm good.  Even the National Cancer Institute (out of the NIH) will tell you that it's a horrible idea and that cell phones are great sources of getting yourself a big ol' blob of cancer.  In order to reduce the chance that you are going to have a giant brain tumor, the EWG suggests you hold it away from your head, talk on speaker, text instead of talk, don't put it in your pocket or under your pillow, and only use it when the signal is strong.  There are physical barrier devices that may be employed to reduce the amount of emf/radiation into your soft tissue, and you may want to check them out if you can't live without your smartphone.  

Taking away a luxury item (like a smart phone) is such a pathetic picture of a first world problem that the shame of it reverberates in my brain (kind of like the radiation).  Add it to the other problems we have, like "my wallet has so much money in it, it hurts my butt when I sit on it", and "I won a sales campaign at work and was awarded a day of golf with the director, but I already took that day off to play golf" or, "I have to take a crap, but my maid is cleaning the bathroom right now".  

So sad.  Big elephant tears of suffering.  

Get a FREAKIN' GRIP, people!  Hello?  This is reality calling, wakey wakey, eggs and bakey?  

Nah, whatever.  It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.  

Peace, love, and fail harder, 
Ms. Daisy

Rake Your Leaves, Bozo

My dear peeps,

I have been so busy, as you can perhaps guess with my absence from writing.  With what, you may ask? 

Let me put it to you exactly like this.  I have been ultra-busy writing plethoras of love letters to my neighbors whose main life goal is to never ever ever ever ever rake their leaves, especially after I raked mine for three hours.  This is especially wonderful as yesterday the winds were only 60 mph and I could layer the entire back and front yard with the deciduous litter they have spread my way.

What do to thank neighbors like this, really?
 

Obviously I was thinking of a few things.

First, perhaps I would submit a secret letter to them that says, "Please pick up your disgusting leaves, bozo.  Love, Hardworking Caring Neighbor"

Then I thought that they would probs notice it was me since I have been prone to stand out in the front yard glaring at them with red laser beams coming out of my eyeballs shooting at their faces, shaking my fist at the sky like Palpatine getting zapped into a crispy wrinkle by Mace Windu.  That might be a giveaway.  Wouldn't want to take it out of the DL flava, now.

So then I thought maybe I could just bag up all of their leaves that they allowed to blow upon my lawn and march them over, walk to their fenced backyard and dump said leaves upsidedown in a wild display of floppy armage while screaming, "How do you like that?!  How do you like it all over your lawn, lazy pants?!"  After the initial satisfaction that this would clearly cause, I seemed to ponder a slight flaw and see that I would be exactly in the same place I am now since the dears wouldn't bother about raking it up anyway and it would all just end up in my front yard again anyway.

The only real thank you could really come in the form of a brown flaming paper bag.

(Don't put it out with your boots, Ted!)

Yeah, well, I wish.  I guess this is just the fodder that bounces to and fro as personal entertainment in my mind as I once again go outside and rake up five more lawn bags.

Peace, love, and I guess the T-shirt with the "Stop Being A Lazy Slob and Get Out Here and Rake" might be a bit over the top, too, (sigh!)
Ms. Daisy

Warning: Jillian Michaels-like rant ahead

You know that thing that people do when they get all wigged out?  That kind of...I don't know...how do you describe it accurately?  That vibe.

(Wow, that was so like totally 0% precise.)

So I started up the Just One Thing Challenge and asked people to try to stop using their microwaves.  I suppose in hindsight, maybe I should have asked people to do something like "try to eat a piece of fruit some time this week if you get the off chance" because for some reason, I am getting this vibe that asking people not to use a microwave is something along the lines of, "I would really think it beneficial to you if you could please not breathe this week."

But I have to tell all-a-y'all, I am just not wired that way.  I am not wired to gently nudge you toward taking a tiny bite of fruit sometime throughout this week.  THAT IS STRAIGHT UP LAME.

I am not here to coddle babies along toward pathetic-ism.  I want you to change.  Do you need to change?  Then do it.

Let me say, I am not throwing anyone under the bus if you don't have any means to do something.  I'm not asking for you to paint your walls with the gold paint they use over at the Notre Dame football field for their helmets.  I am asking you to try something that if it were like 30 years ago, it would not have even been a challenge.  If it were 50 years ago, it would have not even existed.  Do you see how this may seem odd in the whole spectrum of things?

Well, I guess it's kind of like living a day without your smartphone.  Also impossible.  That would be like having to wake up early and exercise before work (what-EVS sonotgonnahappen!).  That would be like choosing to make your own bread instead of having the glorious factory do it for us (like I have time for THAT!).  Yeah.  Good thing our smartphones and our devices we have brought into our lives to simplify them have given us plenty of time to live a quality life.

You choose the things you want to do every single day.  If you want to choose to microwave your head, slobber up some pesticides, ingest Teflon, suck down McDonalds, consume loads of sugar crack, IV yourself to Diet Coke/Pepsi/Mountain Dew (etc.), and punch your liver in the face with a blowtorch with your eight zillion prescription meds, please go right ahead.  But please do NOT complain that you are obese, have no energy, and/or are not happy.  You would be what we might call totally and certifiably insane.  In the membrane.  Insane in the brain.

Do hard things.  This is your life.  There is so much zing to be had out there.  Don't pass it up for the easy road.  

I know it is weird, but if we want things to be different than they are now, we need to do something different than we're doing now.

Be strong.  Tell the wimpy voice to shut up.  

Peace, love and man up,
Ms. Daisy

Detroit: The Third World Country of Michigan

Detroit has issues.  Serious ones.

You've likely heard the gorgeous city has gone bankrupt.  You've likely heard that the governor of Michigan had to send in an emergency manager to keep it from splitting apart at the seams.

Maybe you've heard they have no money to pay their police officers, firefighters and other such offices and you can call 911 and they will NEVER come.  

Maybe you're familiar with the 65% graduation rate for high schoolers in 2013.  This was actually cheered because it was a five percent increase over last year.  And as far as the general population of hot-spot Detroit, 25% of the population never finished high school.  Only 7% of 8th graders in DPS are proficient at reading according to CNS News, but this is even better than their scores in math.  Proficiency levels in math for 8th graders chills out right around 4%.  47% of the entire city is ILLITERATE.

You probably know Detroit scores a number one, though.  Number one for most violent crimes for cities above 200,000 people in all of America.  Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Forbes has figured out several factors that create a "misery index" for different cities. Guess what, babies?  DETROIT IS NUMBER ONE IN THAT, TOO!

Thankfully, Detroit has a few saving graces - the Detroit Institute of Arts, the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, WRCJ FM, and um...uh...wait.  I know there's more.  Oh well, it will come to me later.

Besides that, the gigantic sprawling city is a near complete trash dump.  You cross the borders of the city and you can literally hear every person locking their car doors and cocking their concealed weapons.  

But hey, check out the real estate market.  Detroit has homes for you if you want them.  If you can buy something off of the dollar menu at McDonalds, you can buy a house.  There are plenty of houses for $1 in D-town.  You may be shocked, but at this price, it's actually a rip-off.

And this is exactly where you can get beaten to (near) death for stopping to help someone.  A 50ish year old man was driving down the street when a 10 or 11 year old boy leapt out (some are saying on purpose) directly in front of him.  After he was hit, the man stopped to help him.  His thanks for helping was to get beaten to almost death by a mob.

 If you want to see some hot footage of the awesome city, you can check this out:

Yes, it is a city, even though most of it is vacant now and people are starting farms since there is so much open land.  They are finding quail and beavers in Detroit.  Pheasant are common.

Why don't people from the suburbs want to go down there and spend money?  Why don't businesses want to open up in Detroit?

Huh.  Kinda hard to figure out.

I'll tell you one thing that is embarassingly obvious - the whole throwing money at the situation hasn't worked.  Selling works out of the DIA to balance out the bankruptcy is even worse.  It seems that someone who maybe ISN'T from the city should get in there and fix things, especially considering the 1) repuation of the city, 2) the education of the city, and 3) the desperate situation the city is in.  But the people of the city in the past haven't wanted "outside" help.  It's time to do something.

To continue on this way is unconsionable and abusive.  I recommend recalling every person in the Detroit City Council (have you ever seen the youtubes of them screaming and yelling each other like they're trying out for Jerry Springer?).  Check out their cool antics on this video:

Do you wonder how they got there?  Maybe they were voted in there by a city of people where half of the population can't read.  

It is time to do something different because I'm pretty sure this doesn't seem to be working.

Peace, love and clean it up,
Ms. Daisy

Rant: Volume 1

The following is a rant.  Should you wish not to participate in listening to such blabbering, bid this post adieu and go polish your silver collection, play Spider Solitaire or make elaborate plans how you should save your money and pay off your debts.

And now, for those of you left, without further ado comes: Ranting - Volume 1.

Okay.  As you know, I do things (let's say) a little (lot) differently than most (pretty much anyone I know).  I love grinding my wheat berries into fresh flour.  I make facial cleansers, eye makeup removers, pasta, bread, kombucha, yogurt and crocheted hats.  I like hanging my laundry out on the line in the spring and summer on my whirly.  I love gardening, teaching my kids Latin and the fact that my first grader is doing long division.  I don't eat food from a box (well, okay, except for Trader Joe's organic mac and cheese - I haven't broken that habit yet).  I quit facebook.  I think food is your best medicine.  I think it's fun to learn foreign languages and read books about English monarchs.

Since I am an individual, I understand and expect other people to be their own individuals also.  I do not think that they should necesarily have to make kombucha (even though it is really good for you - you can make up your own mind), I don't force my friends to sign a contract promising they will serve me foods from freshly ground organic winter white berries.  I do not look down on people if their 4 year-old could not write in cursive or ask me "Quid agis?" (satis bene!).  I do not think they're dummy heads if they cannot tell you what caused the fall of the Roman empire or memorize chapters of the Bible.  

But for crying out loud, why are you gonna hate on me for doing it?  Really.  What is the problem?  Why is my life offensive to you?  Do you feel that I am insulting you by hanging my clothes outside to dry?  It's not meant for anyone else's approval checks so I really don't care whether or not you agree with what I'm doing it, but why on EARTH do you care?

I have several friends who have five children or more.  They are great parents.  Every single one of them has lamented the fact that people they know (and complete strangers) come up to them and offer their opinion on whether or not they should have a large family.  Excuse me?  The last time I checked, they were not expecting other people to raise their children, buy their clothes, pay for their food or teach them to read.  They do not accept assistance from the government.  They live within their means and do what they've got to do.  Can you imagine the amount of sacrifice you must endure to have seven children under 9 years old?  You can't even pee, breathe or sleep without someone talking to you, touching you or needing something from you.  TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY FOR TWENTY YEARS.

It seems a bit pathetic for some stranger to speak flippantly about matters they've considered nothing about in their own lives (as they drive a BMW and go to the gym five times a week) while the person they are speaking to is living hourly under the life-commitment they've made, dedicating themselves wholly to their passion for doing what they believe is right.

Let the silly comments cease ("Don't you know what causes that?", "Are you done having children?", "Are those all yours?").  It broadcasts your ignorance with a megaphone and your selfishness makes you look like a beast.

(Bonus - two rants for the price of one.)

Okay, I feel a little better.  If someone else has a way of life that is different than yours,  it is OKAY.  You don't have to do it that way.  You can do your own thing.  But for the love of all that is good and decent, get a life and don't be wigged out when they aren't conforming to your standards of normal.  If you research and find something out and want to change, guess what?  That's permitted too.  (That's called learning and growth.)

Two snaps up in a circle, you betta check yo-self before you wreck yo-self.

Peace, love and heave a sigh of relief - the rant's over,
Ms. Daisy

A Concise List of Pet Peeves

Today I shall share my mini-list of pet peeves.  I'm not sure why this might be important to you, but perhaps you can concur on a few, although I somewhat doubt the likelihood of such things.  (Feel free to reply with your own in the comments section below.)

I will do this countdown style...because anyone worth their salt does it that way and I figured I'd jump on a bandwagon for once (That reminds me of Pet Peeve #4: People who jump on bandwagons).

Pet Peeve #3: Improper grammar/hideous spelling/misuse of homonyms

This only applies to native speakers of English, by the way (Ah, precis, min bästis från Sverige - nej.  Tampoco mi gente de países hispanohablantes - no te preocupes, si me perdonas mi uso del español, todo está bien.  ¡Abrazos!) .  If you are going to go out of your way to learn English (when it is not your first language), any errors you make are filed under "cute" (jag älskar fiskafären och chocklad och moder äv Therése.  Puss, jag saknar dej.  Did I just miss a double dot there?  Sorry!) or "hilarious" in my mind instead of "idiotic" and "hideous".  If you'd like to peruse my thought on the lack of foreign languages spoken in America, you can find it right here.

One easy offender is when people misuse the proper spelling and usage of there/their/they're.  Why this is hard, I am not sure.  One of them ends in a vowel, the other in a consonant and the other has a freakin' apostrophe.  How is it hard to distinguish?  I'm not quite sure.  I was reading a forwarded email that my hubby sent to me about liberal thought (or something) and beneath one of the pictures it had something like "they're thought".  They are thought?  How does that make sense?   If someone is unsure about the proper usage, they ought to go on over and visit the useful, popular, and heroic Grammar Girl!  Beneath those adorable glasses and ponytail is concealed a cape - a crime-fighting (okay, no, fine, not crime, but you get the idea) mind, saving the masses from their own self-created horrors.  Thank you, and glory hallelujah.

Enough there, and now -

Pet Peeve #2: People who put their license plate stickers in the wrong location

In the freezing state that I live in (that's state like a province, not state as in my status of being), it is required that you put your license plate month sticker in the top right hand corner of the plate.  I am not sure if people who don't abide by this rule are doing it to express their creativity (by putting it sequential ones in the four corners plus the middle - incidentally, this is the #1 way to make me scream while driving), or if they are purposeful rule breakers (what rebels!), or if they are just plain ignorant that there is a proper and prescribed location for it.  Any way you slice it, I do not approve.  I sometimes take pictures of their license plates with my phone in an effort to make a collection of stupidity so I can reflect on it at a later time, delving into the various shades of horrification for my torture and simultaneous amusement.  It's like my own personal version of the people of Walmart.

And now, drum roll please -

Pet Peeve #1: Stores and businesses who leave their neon open signs on when they are CLEARLY NOT OPEN

It's 5:00 a.m. and I'm on my way to the gym.  Insurance company - really?  Are you REALLY open right now?  That's great because you have all of your lights off.  Except for one.  Your NEON OPEN SIGN.  Oh, that's cool, you catering company, you're open too, eh?  DOUBT IT.  What is wrong with you!?

This right here, folks, is an example of the wrinkle on the dress shirt of society.

Something obviously must be done.

I propose a plan.  If anyone wants to join me in my heroic and important fight, please do so! 

One fine day I am going to drive around at the wee hours of the morning with a gigantic stack of papers.  This pile will contain pieces of paper with just one gigantic word on them, namely the black and emboldened word "NOT".  In my peeve-mobile, I shall also have some tape, nice and sticky like.  I will go to those offenders and clear up their false advertising by a simple paper posted sign above their neon lies.  And I will feel better!  And maybe they'll learn to turn off the c'mon-right-in-now-cuz-we're-obviously-open neon sign as they turn off the other lights and lock the door for the evening.  If not, I'll be back - tape, cape and peeve-mobile at the ready.

And society will be saved.

Until that perfect day, I remain -
Ms. Daisy