When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to laugh (because you can no longer cry) at the horrors of society, people use their creative minds to produce things that expose the insanely absurd in the form of traditional song. What I am about to share with you does precisely this. If you don't know Mike Adams ("The Health Ranger"), then you betta ask somebody! He is a genius researcher scientist with his own website (perhaps you've heard of it - naturalnews.com? I thought so.). Here is his rendition of the ridiculous things available to our culture (and the even more baffling is the fact that apparently SOME PEOPLE must be actually purchasing this stuff).
So, enjoy (sort of?) this rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. And please, don't buy me the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book - I already have two. Peace, love and don't be a zombie, Ms. Daisy
My dear darling hubby calls me a nerd. (What a rudycat!) WhatEVER. (I prefer "Ms. Princess Extreme Genius Extraordinaire", personally.) Whyfor would he do such a thing? Well, this may also come as a surprise to you, but he does not enjoy taking college courses for fun. And for some strange reason he doesn't think finding the sidereal time of two planets (or orbiting bodies) mathematically to be thrilling. I know. I don't get it either! He didn't even think learning about ancient Egypt in a foreign language was the epitome of excitement. (I'm laying it out to show you that I am CLEARLY the sane one.) What a weirdo, right! I know. I am happy to let you know there are fascinating topics for you to study - and available for you to get into right now! YOU EVEN GET TO DO HOMEWORK! How fun is that?! And quizzes!! It's like freaking Christmas morning, baby! I would also tell you that they have final exams, but I don't want you to pee your pants with excitement - get to the bathroom first and then think about it! I kind of love school. (I bet you didn't figure that out, though.) Really, I just love learning new things. The way I'm doing it is through a website called coursera. You get to sign up for college level classes for friggidy free! If you want, you can do all of the course requirements and get a certificate of completion. I know, it isn't a doctorate, but it hopefully is symbolic of the vast learning you've done. And you can explore topics you're interested in - they even have some continuing education credits if you're a teacher and need to play the required political games and hoop-jumping tricks they put you up to. (I think forced learning is el stupido, just in case you were wondering.) What would you learn if you could learn anything? I would love to learn Greek, Chinese (Mandarin), Swedish, Arabic (in fact, I signed up for a class once at a local college and it fell through due to low enrollment - whatEVER), Hebrew, naturopathy, astronomy, vermiculture, how to make snow not land on my driveway, how to make leaves never land on my grass, how to play the Brandenburg concerto #3 in G major on violin, how to play the piano, how to paint like Picasso, you know, stuff like that. So, if this is your thing, I encourage you to check out coursera.org. I learned about this from my youngest brother-in-law. I wish I were getting paid loads of money for sending props their way, but I'm doing this out of pure excitement for learning - and maybe you'll find something fun there, too. So go check it out! And while you do, I DARE you to listen to the Brandenburg concerto #3 in G major without spinning in circles kicking your legs out prolifically while pretending you're playing violin. It's just straight up impossible.
And now, gotta study. Peace, love and if the Brandenburg concerto #3 were a person, I'd have married them (for the joy of them calling me a nerd), Ms. Daisy
...make kombucha fruit jello, of course! There are so many amazing benefits of kombucha and fermented goodies that it should perk your ears up just thinking about it. What's that, you say? Did you just ask, "What benefits?" My, my. Well, before I bowl you over with piles of goodness, let me just ask you this - did you know that traditional diets consisted of a bit of fermentation at every meal? Our Standard American Diet (catch that acronym, lovies) is packed full of things guaranteed to mess up your mind, your body, and yer guts. (Yes, I did know that was a part of your body, I just wanted to emphasize it for good measure.) White sugar, white flour, cooked to death fruits and veggies, fake foods, genetically modified corn all up in all a ya'lls junk, beef from cows who don't even eat GRASS anymore, and everyone's favorite endocrine disruptor, soy - fill the foods in the grocery stores to the sky whilst people get cancer, allergies, diabetes, and a laundry list of issues up the wazoo. GOOD THING IT AIN'T RELATED, EH? (Remember that whole "you are what you eat" thing? Now that couldn't be true, right?) Come on, my friends. Let's get real here. Take any one of those on the list and think about it. When people stopped grinding their own wheat berries into flour and started gobbling up what was given to them from Mrs. Pillsbury and Mr. Swans Down, do you know that infertility spiked? There isn't enough nutrition in their stripped flour to keep flies alive, let alone make humans thrive. Do yourself and your family a favor - see the Standard American Diet as the fad it is and get back to some real food. Are you familiar with anyone who has trouble digesting milk or milk-products? Maybe they can eat yogurt, but straight milk gives them gut problems? May I suggest that the milk that is sold without the necessary enzymes that help you digest it? Now I know that if you're going to be a grand-scale milk farmer, you can't risk something going wrong and since you can't keep your eye on all of those cows, you are going to have to pasturize it - but the better way is to drink it how it was made. If everyone had their own cow, I can bet there wouldn't be much in the way of milk issues (and there would be many more happy cows). The whole point of this is that we greatly benefit from enzymes and probiotics. (Which is why a lot of people who can't drink milk can have yogurt.) Our gut needs happy friends to dance around the maypole with. If your gut ain't happy, your body isn't going to be either. So I say do it the easy way - kombucha! (And kombucha jello!) Or do it the creative way - sauerkraut, dilly pickles, miso, tempeh, kimchee, kefir (water or milk), or make your own yogurt. (But kombucha jello is pretty durn easy and fabulous.) Now I told you I'd let you know the benefits - so, without further ado... 1. Kombucha is a liver-lover. It helps you detox your liver so it can do its job well. No wonder it is called the "Elixir of Immortality"! When your body has a toxic load, you better figure a good way to detox before you multiply the baddies. Kombucha does just that. It has glucaric acid - the cancer preventer. 2. Kombucha is your gut's best friend. Ever heard of the benefits of probiotics? Kombucha is delicious liquid probiotics straight to your belly. I have personally had several times where my gut just didn't feel right and I walked over to the fridge and chugged a tall glass of kombucha and within the hour I felt 100% better. Gut clarity helps mental clarity. Giddyup. 3. Kombucha wants to be on your immune system's team. It's packed with antioxidants and boosts your energy. 4. Kombucha may help you get rid of your sugar cravings. Are you a sugar-holic? Get on the kombucha train and toss the Snickers bar overboard. These are only a few of the benefits of kombucha! It is an amazing thing. Want some jello? Here is the basic recipe, but you can find a fancy and cute blog about it with pictures http://dirtyfloordiaries.com/fruity-kombucha-jello-bites/
And I must say, that website is pretty hilarious. If you can't be bothered with looking at great websites, the quick and fast version of kombucha jello is this: 100% juice (pomegranate is a good one) - about 2 cups some smashed fruit (optional) - however much you want gelatin (I prefer Great Lakes brand) - about 2 tablespoons 1 cup or so of room temperature kombucha Warm up the juice (not too hot) and put the gelatin in - mix until it dissolves. The kombucha has to be room temp so that when you mix them together, the coldness doesn't make the gelatin blob up. In your jello dish, let your kombucha be chillaxing while you gently add the warm juice/gelatin mix. As you pour it in, stir like a fiend. Plop the fruit in. Stick in the fridge. Peek at it more often than you should. It will be done somewhere near an hour-ish. You don't want to make the juice too hot either to kill the good enzymes in the kombucha. Save the enzymes! (We should get t-shirts that say that...) Anyway. Go on now. Go get yerself some delicious fruity kombucha jello! It's a great way to get your kids to get that probiotic goodness into their bellies. (And yours, too!) Peace, love and jiggidy jello, Ms. Daisy