Homemade toothpaste

This post is dedicated to my beloved dentist friends and family: Uncle Jim, Michaela, Susie, Daniel and Jen.  What you read here may horrify you, but I'm quite sure you won't be surprised.

I nearly ran out of toothpaste yesterday.  There's some in there, but it's at that stage where you are flattening it on counters and pounding the life out of it in hopes for a sudden blobbage.  I was thinking about the many uses of bentonite clay and I wondered if there were people out there who used it to brush their teeth and if there was any benefit from doing so (or if they are just plain crazy).  

The impending lack of toothpaste sped forth my immediate need for researching the topic. What I found was both illuminating and helpful.  (As you can well imagine.)  Apparently, people really do this thing of brushing their teeth with bentonite clay (among other things) and I was not imagining it (now, how many people exactly do this thing remains to be seen - I may indeed be in a club of an illustrious four people, but I am not alone).  

Bentonite clay is a detoxification agent.  It also contains a good source of minerals.  Adventurous people EAT it.  Yeah, seriously.  They eat dirt-like substances.  I haven't tried that yet, but according to Redmond Clay, native people would carry around a little pouch of bentonite clay for digestive upsets.  I personally don't eat the clay, but I do use it in my deodorant recipe, for face masks, and now in toothpaste.  

This information leads some people to suggest that there may be remineralization properties available to your teeth via the use of bentonite clay, and because of the detoxification qualities, it may also help with gum health.  I mean, it sounds good too, right?  Scrubbing your teeth with dirt?  Well, it sure beats Colgate Total's triclosan endocrine disruptor junk of death paste. 

I looked up a recipe and found one that seemed fairly straightforward (and I had all of the ingredients, minus the GoToob, which I got from REI - plus some awesome aerobars for my bike, but that is a different story and is my Mother's Day present - thank you, honey!  But I digress.).  I found the recipe at Overthrow Martha.  

Don't you want to try it?  I know.  I can hear Michaela even now wholeheartedly agreeing with this idea.   

Here is the recipe:  

1.5 Tbsp. bentonite clay (I get Redmond.)  
2 Tbsp. filtered water (I use R/O remineralized with Vitev REMIN)
Step 1: mix them together.  
Step 2: add the other ingredients, which are: 2 teaspoons of baking soda, a tablespoon of coconut oil and 10+ drops of essential oil.  She adds fine sea salt, but I don't want to scratch up my awesome chompers.  And as far as the essential oil goes, I did not listen.  My peppermint essential oil has a totally open bottle top lid and I think I dumped a teaspoon of essential oil in the mix.  EXTRA MINTY, people.  She also points out that you should not use metal anywhere with this recipe, as bentonite clay sucks toxins out like nobody's beeswax, and maybe you like to brush your teeth with aluminum, I don't know, but probs we should just stick with non-reactive things like glass or the GoToob.

It looks SO DISGUSTING, which I think adds to the whole positive experience of it all.  It's non-foamy grey toothpaste for crying out loud.  It is like drinking kombucha.  You just inhale like a boss and nod smirkily while you do it and I'm pretty sure it makes you tougher on some level.  I mean, hello?  "I brush my teeth with clay.  You probably don't want to mess with me."  It goes without saying!  Are you worried about not having fluoride in there?  (As a side note, I have not had any cavities since I switched over to using non-fluoride toothpaste and before that I was a 4 cavity a time kind of dental patient.)

Here, read up a little bit on poisoning your brain with fluoride:  
Wreck your brain - and fast!
It's way funner to be dumber!
Let's do it anyway, even though we know it's totally horrid for you!

So, are you wondering what the response is to using it?  I told my hubby I made toothpaste yesterday and so when he got ready for bed, he opted to try it (very brave soul - just think of all the things I subject him to on a daily basis).  I was already laying in bed, cringing quietly and waiting to hear what he would say.  

It went like this:  
Him: I'm going to try that toothpaste you made, I guess.
Me:  (Oh boy, here we go.)  Kay.  Let me know what you think.  
Him:  (squirting grey toothpaste onto his toothbrush...putting it in his mouth...brushing for one second) Weird! (muffled)  It's...salty!  
Me:  Well, yeah.  Of course it is!  (?  I think it sounds better if you respond that way.)  Him:  Oh, it's very minty.  
Me:  Yeah, I know.  
Him:  It's getting...minty-er.  
Me:  (ahem) Yeah, uh, that's um, how...I...made...it.  So, do you like it?  
Him:  Yeah, it's okay I guess.  
Me:  WIN!  

And that is the story of an obviously very positive personal account.  I think I brushed my teeth like five times yesterday to keep testing it (along with randomly asking family members, "Do I have stink mouth or am I good?").  It still works.

The kids have not tried it yet because they watched me make it and they keep saying that their mother is brushing her teeth with dirt.  Well, suck it up buttercups!  (Can't you make it white, Mom?  No.  Stop being a baby.)  

So, if you ever run out...hey...join the club!  

Peace, love, and minty fresh, 
Ms. Daisy
 

Zit Removal Guide, the Daisy way

My face thinks it is 15.  

I predictably break out once a month (thank you, hormones).  This is payback for my teenage years when I think I got 3 zits total from the time I was 12 until I was 21.  Now, you can set the clock to my zits.  Awesome.  But even though I'm in my 30's, it still stinks to get blemishes.  I mean, it's not life crushing like when you're 16, but it is still stupidly annoying.  

I tried Crunchy Betty's face scrub with milk and nutmeg, and it does make you have a baby butt face (that is - your face is so soft it feels like a baby's butt, not that you are a small butt face), but honestly, I think for the zits, it really might only help a teense.  

I was wondering what was out there that would be helpful to crush the life out of the red little hormone dots in my life, and I may have stumbled upon something.  Now, obvs, different things work for different people because of our different chemistry, but this works for me.  What's the secret mix?  

Well, if you followed Crunchy Betty a couple years ago, you may remember the month or so when everyone was washing their face with honey.  Were you on that bus?  I tried it.  It was pretty cool.  Honey is anti-microbial, and filled with wonderful enzymes and lots of other goodies that make it a wonder.  

One day a few months ago, I had a few zits and the thought dawned upon me to combine the wonderful properties of honey with the scrubby exfoliating powers of nutmeg (yeah, seriously, but don't use nutmeg on your face more than twice a week - the overdose of nutmeg on the face looks like your face got into a fight with sandpaper and a cat). 

I poured a small blob of honey into my hand, sprinkled nutmeg into the mix, squished it around and slimed it on my face (in an upwardly circular motion, of course - I really should be less technical, but I just can't...).  I stared at my weird looking face in the mirror for a few minutes, thinking this was likely a necessary step in my experiment.  I pretended I was at a spa as I layed a hot washcloth over my face (even though I was standing in my vintage 1950's bathroom - but hey, when you have a washcloth over your face, you can pretty much pretend you are anywhere) and then followed with wiping the magical mess off.  

I don't have any hard empirical evidence, but from my point of view, I honestly think it was helpful in zit reduction.  It makes sense that it could be, anyway, right?  You have the anti-microbial properties of the honey gutting out your zit dirt (I think that's the scientific name for it), and the nutmeg is smoothing to the areas on your face that are having skin distortion/flaking/etc.  Anyway, it  worked for me, and if you want to try it, I hope it works for you.  

Happy zit reduction!  

Peace, love, and grow up, face, 
Ms. Daisy

Ginger Beer: Explosively Good

Hello and welcome to the kitchen of Ms. Daisy.  Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to get drenched in a liter of your own homemade exploding ginger beer?  Have you ever had a desperate longing to dodge glass shrapnel in your own house?  Did you miss out on the era of Drano bombs and you have deep regrets?  Have you ever wanted to scrub every surface, every crack, corner, nook and cranny of your basement?  Well, have a seat, and you can vicariously live through my fun afternoon. Follow these simple steps and you, too, can have the fantastically sticky and memorable experience you've always dreamed of.

It all started about ten days ago when I got the itch to brew up some homemade ginger beer.  I have done this before (but not with such explosive results) and the taste of ginger beer on a hot, summer day is the stuff dreams are made of.  So I got out my trusty Nourishing Traditions cookbook and flipped to the back of the book where lies many fabulous beverage concoctions.  (Kombucha included.)  

Some people do it differently, but with NT, you make a ginger bug by adding 2 teaspoons of ginger (dried) and 2 teaspoons of sugar (organic) daily to 1.5 cups of filtered water for 7 days.  On the 7th day, you pour off the liquid of the bubbly bug and add water, sugar and lemon juice and then bottle that baby up for 14 days.

I bottled on June 9 (today is the 12th).  I filled up each one so carefully not to spill a single drop (as this whole process takes at least 3 weeks - and it is so good, you don't want to miss any - and you know you're going to want to drink every single bottle on day 1 and have to start right over again and wait another 3 weeks for another sip).  I placed them in a row in the dungeon basement.  Weren't they so cute?  Yes, they were.

Until today.

We went out to Costco for some organic spring mix and bananas (but epic fail, this Costco is ghetto and doesn't carry organic ones) and then over to the favorite health food store to stock up on vitamins.

Upon returning home, I instructed one of the littles to whip up a batch of dog food (this entails soaking her $50 dog food in pancreatic enzymes that are crushed with a mortar and pestle in tepid water for an hour).  This little is a dramatic little.  Upon approaching the area where the dog food is prepared, screaming ensued.  "Emergency!  Emergency!  Help, Mom, help!!!"  

Now if any of you have dramatic littles, you know that this could mean any number of things.  It could mean that there is a spider on the ground; it could mean that laundry is on the floor in the wrong spot (this little is very particular, I might add); it could mean that the computer is smoking and shooting out laser rays into onlooker's eyeballs, blinding them for life; or it could mean there is broken glass.  I skipped through the others and flat out asked, "What?  Is it broken glass?"

Which bottle would you like to drink out of?

If you have a house filled with females, perhaps this is not the first thing that you think of.  If you have a house filled with boys, you know that you will bag up one broken item of glass at an average of twice a month and it is somewhat of a standard issue.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner - broken glass it is.

With a twist.

"And, Mom!  There's ginger beer all over everything!  Everything is all wet!"

Oh goodie.

One of my ginger beers has exploded.  This means two things - I need to clean that up and second, what is the likelihood that several more are waiting to explode this very minute?  Let's go find out.

I want you to imagine that you love ginger beer.  And it is a good thing you do, because your basement will never NOT smell like it again.  

"Little, bring me the paper towels!" Little comes back with ONE paper towel.  Yeap, that's gonna do it.

After three towels and flamboyant use of paper towels, the place was cleaned up.  There is a sink there and I thought it would be a good idea to test out the other bottles inside of the sink and let off some pressure if they were also about to blast the basement to smithereens.

Let me ask you.  Have you ever wished you could be one of those baseball players who wins something or the NASCAR guys when they shake up a bottle of champagne and spray it all over your face?  If you always wondered what that was like, I can tell you.  It is sticky.

I EVER so slowly opened the cap to one of those bottles and Mt. Vesuvius erupted straight upward, all over the ceiling, all over the walls, all over the everything.  Do you know what happens when you try to use your hand to contain it?  That would be called your own Personal Ginger Beer Shower.  Great.  There are three inches of liquid left.  Good thing I was so freakin careful not to spill a drop three days ago, eh?

Where were those towels again?

The next bottles were opened out of doors.  I think the ants are happy.

Well, gotta go scrub off.  I'm sure ginger is good for your skin somehow.  After that, maybe I'll have a sip of ginger beer.  Or I could skip washing a cup and just start licking my arms.  Whatever.

Peace, love and bottoms up,
Ms. Daisy

Zits: the joy of all joys

Lovely title, isn't it?  Oh, yes.  Well, let's get real.  Zits are a fact of life.

Pop that thing, girl!

Some people get loads of them while they go through their teenage years and then are relieved when they hit their twenties and the zits seemingly stop.  I, however, think I had four zits from the time I was 13 until I was 21 and then get them now more frequently in my thirties.  It's a wonderful life.


But now - as of these last three or so months, I have almost eradicated the nasties from my face completely!  I don't know exactly all of the causes, but I did only one thing dramatically different.  This caused me to wonder if this change was indeed quite helpful.

At any rate, I thought I'd share it with you so that if you'd like to try it out, you may.  Perhaps it will bring you a measure of success (and I hope it does!).

Now, most of you know that I already make my own eye makeup remover and facial cleanser.  They're both simple recipes - the eye makeup remover is nearly 50% witch hazel and 50% organic extra-virgin olive oil.  Pour those into a little container, shake 'em up, squirt on a cotton round.  The facial cleanser is witch hazel steeped with thyme leaves.  (Thyme is a natural anti-inflammatory agent, thus a zit-shrinker.)

Until a few months ago, I was using a store-bought moisturizer.  I need a moisturizer because I slather my face in chlorine every other day and without it, I have that feeling of your skin being ripped to shreds if you attempt smiling or speaking.  It's lovely.  I hope you've experienced such loveliness to know what I mean.  Now, the moisturizer was labeled 100% natural (which, you know, means totally nothing), but I was using it anyway - mostly because it was somewhat inexpensive ($17, not $70) and I could pronounce the ingredients.

Store-bought 100% natural moisturizer.

But I think there was something in there that just bugged my face.  I would get a zit like clockwork (girls, you know what I mean) and I chalked it up to hormones.  (Indeed, I think it was.  But the other half of the story is that I don't think I was helping myself any with what I was putting on my face.)

So I ran out of my moisturizer and as I went to the store to get more, they didn't carry the item anymore!  What the heck!  I went to a couple other stores and they didn't have it either.  Usually this means it's time to go find it on ebay or amazon, but I went a different direction.  I thought, "Well, what the heck.  I already make the eye makeup remover and the facial cleanser, what if I try making a moisturizer?  It's worth a shot."  

I didn't really know what to make it out of, so I went to my favorite crunchy granola hippie health store and looked at their $70 facial moisturizers.  I read their ingredients.  Some of them contained questionable ingredients that I wouldn't really want to put on my face, especially since I would have been paying ridiculous amounts of money for it.  I noticed a thread of ingredients and decided I would just go with simple and try mixing up the basics.

I used three ingredients: coconut oil, jojoba oil and shea butter.  If you know anything about these ditties, you know that two of them are solids at room temperature.  That is all good and grand, but it makes it a bit more difficult to combine with an oil and rub on your face in any good way.  So, I did the Crunchy Betty thing and melted them up and mixed them together.

I wish that I could remember the exact proportions, but I never even use exact proportions for baking, so I lament to you that you may be out of luck for this if you're into the precise.  I can give you an idea, though.  I would say I went about equal measures of the coconut oil and the shea butter and then did a few squirts of the jojoba at the end.

I used a stainless steel pot to melt the coconut oil first and then added in the shea butter.  I remembered from a Crunchy Betty recipe once that she said if you let it go too long, you can get weird grainy results with your shea butter, so I just mixed it all together until it was a liquid and then took it off heat.  This was when I made a hopeful squinty face and squirted in the jojoba oil.

I put it into a glass facial moisturizer bottle I cleaned out for just that purpose and stuck it in the fridge to get it to solidify.  (Now it lives in my makeup bag like a good little moisturizer.)

If you're used to having white colored facial moisturizers, then you may be a bit weirded out that this puppy is yellow (due to the shea butter), but I can assure you that your face does not turn yellow.

And dudes.  I totally don't get zits anymore.  It was just what my face needed.  

(Is this so ironic?  Wasn't your first reaction to "put oil on your face" the exact opposite?  I'M GOING TO GET A THOUSAND ZITS!  I know.  But I haven't.  And it was in all of those expensive mixes, so maybe it's just cheeseburger oil you don't want to rub on your face.)

If you want it to come out liquidy, you have to heat up your bottle under hot tap water and then squirt it out (which I did initially because I was brainwashed into thinking this is the only way to get moisturizer on your face).  I switched over after about two weeks of doing that to just opening up the bottle, lifting the straw-like thing up and wiping a little blob onto my finger.  Works like a charm.  The warmth of your hands and face turn it into a liquid anyway (since coconut oil is a liquid above 76 F).


It's really lovely!  I say if you're out of yours and you're up for mixing it up in the kitchen that you give it a try.  It sure is a heck of a lot cheaper than $70, $17 or even $7.  I haven't figured the price, but I'd say it cost under $2 to make that batch, and even perhaps under $1.

Knowing your ingredients, knowing how to do it, saving money - what's cooler than that in the world of facial moisturizing!?

Peace, love and let us always bond together to fight the good fight against the attack of the zits,
Ms. Daisy

I am the smartest man (woman) alive!

You know the part on Billy Madison when he spells "couch" (or something?) right and he yells out, "I am the smartest man aliiiiive!!!"?  

Well, I just did that.

Not the spelling couch part.  I totally can do that no prob.  C...o...r...are you going to the mall later, that's what I'm asking...

You see, I just changed the head of a plug on my vacuum cleaner.  If you've ever done this before in your life, you are now scoffing at me (but I can't hear you or see you so I'm going to pretend that you aren't doing such things) and if you've never done it, well, I just want you to sit there and admire me and be very impressed and think that only Mensa members can achieve such feats.

By the way, this reminds me of something.  My hubby said that everything in my life is dramatic.  I have no idea what he means.  What-EVER.  I am soooo not dramatic at all (okay, maybe a teensy bit, I mean, I did, after all, receive the Best Actress Award in my acting class.  If you weren't impressed with the plug head, you can be impressed with my cherished award.).

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yes, saving the world.  I mean, changing a plug head.  It felt like I kind of did something amazing.  (Do shush, you scoffers!)

Armed with motivation to be a do-it-myselfer and one previous experience over the summer in plug-head-changing, I decided that my awesome Filter Queen vacuum would be an appropriate mini-project as it decided that it would die in the middle of my cleaning frenzy.  (It was Friday, you know.)

In the summer, I had my other nearest and dearest electrical friend, the edger, go up in a small puff of smoke and die - and HELLO! Anyone worth their weight in salt (is that even a thing?) knows you can't get through a week of summer without having a deliciously carved edging tantalizingly framing your yard and walks.  Unless you are just not into that.  (Although you do not know the depth of the bafflement that causes me.)

At that time I had facebook and people who ccould help me in such adventures.  I have since quit that arena of social networking and am now all alone in the world (the cyberworld, anyway) to figure things out on my own.  I was pretty sure I remembered (mostly) what to do and recalled a feeling that it was a rather simple task.

So with a general sense of having done something once and believing that I certainly ought to be able to do this again, I began the electrical surgery on my Filter Queen.

And basically, it goes like this - you get to cut the (unplugged) cord of your appliance off near the pluggy thinger, pull back the rubbery part to expose two twisty covered copper wire bunches and then stick those wiry bunches around a screw in your new plug head.  I am only using this professional language because I have watched one youtube video on it and this is the extent of my electrical education.

But this brings me to the whole philosophy that I want to encourage in all those I love out there - you can do it, you can make it, you can fix it.  Seriously.  I mean, unless it's rocket science, and then - if it is, well, just read up on it and probably you can figure it out, too.  If you think about it, the world is not mostly filled to the brim with complete and utter geniuses.  There are some out there, yes, indeedy.  But the majority of people are just regular Joe Schmoes (not to be confused with the famous Joe the plumber) and if they can do it, why can't you?  You can.  

And if you get stuck, well, ask for help.  While I was shredding my copper coverings off, I realized that last time I did this I had a two prong plug head and now I had a 3 prong.  Um, uh oh.  What to do?  Do I link them together and blow up the world?  (I love my vacuum way too much for that.) I'm going to guess that I just ignore that third thing because my thingy didn't have three wire thingys.  As I wondered, I said, "Wherefore art thou Romeo!?"  (That was because my husband was sleeping in a near coma-like state and we have a friend who is an electrician named Romeo.)  So, just call your local Romeo and you'll be all set. (Even though it was a Friday night and your local Romeo probably has a life and was out having a great time while your great time is defined by fixing a vacuum cleaner plug...)

Anyway, when you do things for yourself, you have a satisfaction in learning how to do things and you develop a sense of confidence that heck yeah, you can do something else.  So...what is it that you want to do?  What's stoppin' yas?

To utilize a Nike saying - just do it.

Peace, love and go on with your bad selves!
Ms. Daisy

(and don't forget to let me know about it!)

Butter - the complicated recipe

Hey!  Did you ever make butter in your public school assembly when you lived growing up in the city and some farmer came to visit you to show you how easy it was?

Or that was just me.

Since I told you all about it, I want to tell you how to make your own.  It's like a science experiment and your kids will be all over it.

You need:
a jar with a lid
heavy whipping cream
arms

Steps:
1.  Pour heavy whipping cream into a jar (until it's about halfway full).
2.  Put the lid on.
3.  Shake, shake it, c'mon, c'mon, shake, shake it.  For like 15 minutes.  You'll know when you're done because you'll first make whipped cream and then after a few minutes of seemingly nothing, you'll feel a huge thunk and it will be butter - separated from buttermilk.
4.  Remove arms from body because they are tired.
5.  Pour out buttermilk.  Save it!  Use it in your pancakes!
6.  Dump out the lump of butter.  Some people rinse it with cold water to get it all perfect and buttermilk-free.
7.  Shape it into whatever you want (a rectangular prism or a lamb, whatever seems best.).
8.  Put it in the fridge for extra hardening.
9.  Eat it on everything you see.

Simple.  Refreshing.  Butter.

Peanut Buttery Cuppys

Non-TBHQ/BHT/partially hydrogenated oil peanut butter cups

You need:
A pile of soy lecithin-free chocolate chips (12 oz.)
1 cup (8 oz.) of organic heavy whipping cream
Globs of organic peanut butter
A small bowl full of crushed up organic O’s cereal
Mini paper cups/mini muffin tins (or you can use regular size if you’d like)

1. Warm up the heavy whipping cream on the stove, but don’t boil it. Just get some eeny bubbles on the edges going.
2. Dump in the soy lecithin-free chocky chippers
3. Stir until they’re all a homogenous melty goopy pile of chocolate warm goodness.
4. Get that pot off of the heat and let it chillax while you –
5. Smash the O’s cereal to bits until it looks like a powder.
6. Drop the globs of organic peanut butter into your smashed powder O bits.
7. Stir the peanut butter and the O’s until they are also a mostly homogeneous glop.
8. Slather the chocolate onto the bottom of the muffin cups, spreading it a little sideways so it goes up on the edge of the paper.
9. Drop a glob of your peanut butter mix onto your chocolate muffin cup goodness.
10. Cover with more chocolate and stick the whole thing in the fridge or freezer (whichever you prefer) until they are firm.
11. Try not to eat the entire pan at once. Share, baby, share.

You Can Do EEEET!

Do you know?  Do you have ANY idea of how capable you are?

I am not telling you this in some pretend "achieve your dreams" cheddar cheesy way.  

I am here, today, right in front of your monitor/screen/whatsit telling YOU - you can be more self-sufficient.  If I could produce my smiling face through your device, reach my two arms through the screen and grab you by your shoulders and shake you (lightly, I am not here to abuse you), I would say, "You can do EEET!" (Well, I would say it in a weird accent, first of all, because it's more humorous, second of all because if I am so weird that I'm acting akin to PeeWee's Play House genie head all up in a box, well, I guess that talking weirdly would just be expected.  Thirdly, BECAUSE YOU CAN.)

And that's really the main point.

You can make your own things.

There's no rocket science thing going on here.

Or at least in my kitchen.  I guess if you want to do rocket science in yours, go ahead.  You can!  Because golly gee whiz, you're smart enough.

(If I seem a little distracted, sorry, it's because the soundtrack in the background while I write this is my husband singing along to every single 70s/80's song he's ever known in a falsetto voice.  And yes, he knows EVERY word.  Goodie.)

Okay, think about it.  What about bread?  Check this recipe out!  If you haven't made your own delicious homemade bread, go there, try it.  It's so easy, you just might be tempted to strut around in awesomeness.

There are so many things you can do on your own that you probably never thought of!    What about making your own laundry detergent?  Automatic dishwasher detergent?  Blankets?  Soap?  Curtains?  Pasta?  Ice cream?  Perfume/cologne?  Mustard?  Granola? Eye makeup remover?  Carpet stain remover?  Kombucha?  Lotion bars?  Crackers?  Skirts?  Marshmallows?  Face powder made of eggshells.?

What do you want to learn how to make?  There are so many resources out there that you can go to to get some good info.
One of them is one of my absolute flavorites - Crunchy Betty.  She is the bomb, baby.  You can look up how to make your own booty butters (yes, for real, in coffee bean flavor), lip stuffs, glass cleaners, eye makeup remover, and about twelveteen hundred other things. 

One of the easiest concoctions I learned from Ms. Betty* is the aforementioned eye makeup remover.  Have you ever read the ingredients of an eye makeup remover potion?  It's like twelve ingredients and the all start with poison and petrol.  Please slather more of that directly into my eyeball, thank you.  Great idea.  Why don't we just go out to the gas station and wipe that on our eyes when we need a good cleaner?  Right.  Exactly.  Because that's insane.  Let me implore you to take a look at your ingredients and ask yourself if you may have a bottle of insanity in your precious hands. 

Crunchy Betty has a two ingredient magic potion (TWO!  Much better than twelveteen.  Or whatever yours might have.) for eye makeup removal.  And guess what?  They're totally normal things.  And it costs like 41 cents to make it.  No, for real.  Actually, probably less.

Ready?  This is your first assignment, should you choose to accept it.  (Homeboys, I think you could make this for your wifies and surprise them with your creativity, thoughtfulness and kindness.  Or buy flowers.  But this is way cheaper.)  Are you sure?  Okay, this is gonna be really hard.  Go get the following ingredients:

- olive oil
- witch hazel

Wow.  That was a long list.

Now for the difficult part.  Mix them in equal proportions in a whatever type of bottle you want to.  I usually do put an eetsy bit more of the witch hazel because I tend to zitify more than dry out.  Close the top.  Shake.  Squirt on a cotton ball/round/rectangle/panda-bear-shape, etc. and use to wipe off your eye makeup.  Then, with a triumphant voice, shout, "I CAN DO EEEEET!!!!!"

Holy cannoli, you did it.  You really did.  And it was so hard.  And you just saved yourself like a year of your life with the anti-petrol and $6.99 in your wallet. 

So super easy - you could even make it as a little gift for the holidays coming up!  You could label it as Petrol-Free Eye Makeup Remover.  Everyone would wonder at you in amazement. 

So, that's one thing you can do on your own.  What are some things you have dreamed of making but have never quite done yet?  Any good "recipes" for homemade stuffs out there that you've found?

I'd love to hear 'em!

Have a blessed day, m'dearies!

Peace, love and please for the love of all that is good and decent stop putting gasoline in your eyeballs,
Ms. Daisy

*Totally not her real name, her name is actually Leslie.

Crushing Eggshells

Whilst perusing one of the crunchiest places on the net (http://www.crunchybetty.com/), I came across her highly retro idea of crushing eggshells into a powder to put on your face.  What?  Eggshells on your face?  Yes.  It creates a matte powder so you can avoid the Sweating Pig look.  Why can't I use my powder I already have?  You can, go ahead.  Do you know what's in it?  Maybe crazy chemicals?  Maybe horse hooves?  Maybe vampire blood?  Maybe not.  Well, you have no idea either way, you just slap it on your face without a care in the world.  Do you know what is in ground up eggshells?  Yes.  Ground up eggshells.  So, let's just entertain me for a moment and go with the idea.  (Plus, think of all the hippie points you can get from talking about putting eggshell powder on your face.  All of your friends who used to follow Phish will probably high five you.)  And also plus - it's fun to crush things up.  You can pretend you're a mad scientist - without the boiling radioactive liquid.

Now that that's explained, let's begin.

Step one: Eat eggs for breakfast.  Yum.  Just think of how delish they are with that cracked black pepper, a little salt - don't forget the sprouted multigrain toast with loads of butter and your Irish breakfast tea. 

Step two: Wash out eggshells and dry them with a paper towel.  For extra dryness, I put them outside in a glass jar so the hot air could bake them to a crisp.

Step three: Bring them back in the house after about a day (or more if you can stand it).  Depends on your crispy-ness level tolerance.

Left: eggshells in jar.  Right: handy-dandy mortar and pestle.

Step four: Take out your handy-dandy mortar and pestle.  WHAT?  You don't have one of these?  Why not?  Ooooh, yes.  You have a normal pet, I forgot.  Well, never mind, while I am twice to thrice daily crushing pancreatic enzyme pills to a fine fly-up-your-nose powder, you're busy with doing other things.  Well then.  Go get one.

Step five: Begin crunching.

Notice the lovely pigments.

Step six: Crunch a little more.

Oooh, powdery.

Step seven: Take pictures.  Okay, okay, you can totally skip this step.

A happy family: Eggshell mama, mortar and

pestle daddy, baby egg powder.

Step eight: Go get a blush brush and brush some on.  The end.  Well, unless you get really carried away with your mortar and pestle and decide to go on to step nine...which is:

Left: crushed dried oats.  Right: kid breakfast.

Crush other things because they're laying around and you think it might be fun.  I made some oatmeal for the kiddos breakfast and decided that it would be fun to smash dried oatmeal and see what happened.  That's what happened.  I have no idea what to do with my smashed oat powder, but don't worry, I'll find something.

Do you have any ideas?