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Sunday, November 22, 2015

I hate the Mockingjay 2 movie

I am about to go off into a flying rage about the Hunger Games: Mockingjay 2 movie.  If you haven't seen it but want to, I am going to include the ending of this movie in this rant so you may want to go elsewhere.

That was your warning.

I watched the first movie whenever it was that it came out and it was horribly disturbing to me.  The thought of sending people to kill each other in a fake weird televised cyberworld for entertainment is so sick and perverse that I couldn't get it out of my head for a week straight.  I wanted to puke when I thought of it.  

On Friday night I saw Mockingjay 2, the last of the Hunger Games trilogy. 

This movie is HORRIBLE.  (I can hear all of the faithful fans screaming, "Why?!")

Peeta.  That's why.

That and the blatant disdain for manly testosterone and the promotion of wimpy pansy pants men with zero cojones, you know, like Peeta.

Ga ga goo goo?
At the end of the movie, Katniss got out of her bed, walked down the hall, climbed into bed with lame Peeta (since he doesn't have a house and she is providing that for him, too), and he said, "You love me, real or not real?"  Now, I have to tell you, up to this point I had no question in my mind that she would eventually marry or be with Gale and that if she loved Peeta it was only because he was like some kind of suffering baby animal.  I figured she was using stupid Peeta (although I had no idea what for, since his positive qualities are: 1. can bake bread, and 2. can plant flowers.  I'm sure that Katniss could take care of figuring out how to get that done herself in about five minutes, so why would she want to hang around sad sack?) or she felt sorry for him since his brain was poisoned by Dictator Snow and she was just making sure to hang around him long enough until she knew he got better and then she could leave and go be with a real man.

Are you keeding me?

 When she said that she did love him, I literally put my hands on my head and closed my eyes.  MIND BLOWN.  What the HECK is going on around here?!  At this point of the movie, I almost got up and left.  I silently began muttering, "No.  You have got to be kidding me.  This is not happening."  The movie was ruined at that point and I could barely recall any redeeming qualities about why I wanted to see this stupid thing in the first place.

Peeta?  You want to be with Peeta, Katniss?  Are you freaking kidding me?  First of all, do you have a sight impairment?  Maybe you're legally blind?  Maybe you have severe dementia?  Yes, I know, looks are not everything.  I get that.  But seriously?  Have you seen Gale?  He's tall and extremely good-looking...and he's a soldier.  He protected your family, he can fight like a boss, he goes out in the woods and hunts with you, and he is capable of taking care of himself and you.  

Just on looks alone, Gale would have to be a murdering, molesting, crack dealer who eats children for breakfast in order for Peeta to even be able to be put into the same ring with him to compete.

And then there's Peeta.  He's short, has weird eyeballs, fluffy hobbit hair, he cries a lot, can't be trusted with any weapons, can't even take care of himself, and his favorite thought is probably, "Save me, Katniss!"  (That had to be said with a scrunched up baby face, pinkies in the air, and hands flapping for full effect.  Try it again.  There.  Now you get the full effect.)  Oh, but he can bake bread, so yeah, I mean, I totally get it.  Sign me up.  Right.  Why would any woman not be jumping at that one?  I'll bake my own dang bread, thankyouverymuch.  He is pretty much the definition of pure 100% unadulterated pansy.

I was literally bewildered at this twist of the movie.  

The complement of a strong woman is not a weak man.  The complement of a strong woman is a stronger man.  Katniss' character showed that she is more than capable of taking care of herself, which is what makes Gale's character so appealing as a match for her.  When you solely take care of yourself, it is even more special to have someone to be able to step in and take care of you.  You don't need it, but it is a gift.  It makes it all the more sweet and precious.  He was going to go with her when he figured out that she was going to go it alone.  He knew her and understood her enough to even see what she was going to do before she did it.  

Instead she picks painter pansy Peeta who we find playing in the dirt planting flowers.  Really?  And then has children with him?  What are you going to do if a bad guy comes to your house?

Peeta:  Katniss!  Help!  There's a bad guy at the door!
Katniss: Peeta, take the children and go hide and pretend to be rocks, I'll take care of this!  I have enough cojones for all of us!

My eyes are hurting from rolling so hard at the pathetic-ness of it.  Somebody give Peeta a lesson on sisu and push him out of a helicopter, please.

Perpetuating wimpiness (in general, but specifically in men) is not something to be applauded or rewarded.  This is perhaps what bothers me most about the movie.  So ugh.

Excuse me, I need to go do some pull ups.

Peace, love, and testosterone,
Ms. Daisy


Wednesday, November 4, 2015

The Hilarious Canadian News

I don't know how you feel about Canada.  Perhaps you feel the same way you do about Canada as you do for Switzerland.  They're just one of those nice countries that doesn't bother the other ones, and even though they are socialists and have universal health care and are generally unarmed, most of the people are considerably more alert and better educated than your average run-of-the-mill type in the United States.

I love to listen to CBC Radio 2 on the way home from swimming in the morning to hear their news, because any propaganda being barfed out on an American station is so insanely slanted and idiotic that I just end up gagging and yelling at the radio, and really - who wants to start their day off like that?  Not me.  So on with the Canadian station it is.

Their national news is about one billion gallons less narcissistic than the American news, and that is grand (Oh wait, there are other countries out there?!  Pish posh, don't be silly, of course there are.  And they are only important as long as they have a direct effect upon us.  Duh.  Talk about those only.  And do it from the perspective of how they probably should work a little harder to benefit us.).  I appreciate that Canadian aspect, but what I really tune in for is the entertainment of their local news.

I live in a place that if I tuned in to local news, it would be the news of Detroit.  Do you know what that looks like?  I just checked.  It looks like this: police officer's trial begins today for beating a motorist in their car, rape kits arrive in Detroit, apartments burn on Detroit's west side, man found dead of strangulation after a fire, woman won't be charged in son's fatal shooting, and cameras capture thief breaking in to gas station.  I am not even keeding.  Those are the headlines for today.  They're pretty much the same everyday, give or take a few rapes and murders.


In Windsor, across the river, we have a different kind of news going on.  It is refreshing and hilarious.

On CBC Radio 2, there is a lovely Englishman, Pete Morey, who subs in for Tom Power when he's out - and everyone likes to listen to a good English accent in the morning, so that's a win.  On the local news, you've got my favorite news person, Peter Dock (he's local to Windsor).  I have no idea what he looks like, but I imagine him to be very serious.  You should hear his voice.  He is so somber, matter-of-fact, and direct, I can barely stand it.  He is my favorite.  He seems so serious that I imagine myself meeting him, sprinting up to him with the most gleeful face, grabbing onto his shoulders and jumping up and down in front of him, gushing that he is my FAVORITE news person in the world.  If I had to guess, I think this would embarrass him, mostly from the overabundance of emotion I would be showing at that point, especially considering his apparent penchant for being excessively reserved.  That right there would make me even happier.  Stir it up?  YES, PLEASE!
What I am about to tell you is not a joke.  This was REALLY ON THE NEWS.  Peter Dock actually reported this this morning.  When he did, I erupted into laughter in the car so vivaciously that even I was amused at myself.

After they reported a building fire, Peter Dock came out with the stunning news that nearly ran me right off of the road.  Please, be seated before you read this.

It went something like this: "A teacher in LaSalle distributed a spelling sheet that included American spellings.  The word 'color' was spelled without the 'u', and the sheet also asked the students what state they lived in (said with much disdain).  The superintendent was notified and has corrected the teacher."

I love you, Canada.  This is the funniest news I have ever heard in my life.  It's sure a heck of a lot better than rape kits and being strangled and burnt to death.

Rock on.

Peace, love, and please do not pronounce Quebec with a "kw" sound (it's "ke-beck"),
Ms. Daisy