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Monday, April 29, 2013

Would you like a tumor with your aspartame? It's free.

Boy oh boy, have I got a doozy for you today.  I have been utterly immersed in researching this one (nearly to obsession, but you can pretend to be surprised by that) and I am nearly exploding to shed some light on this in hopes that I can save some of you from possible horrifying future misery.

The topic: aspartame.

So check this out.  Aspartame is made from (SERIOUSLY, GET THIS) phenylalanine, produced by a GENETICALLY MODIFIED (yes, like it couldn't get worse) strain of FRICKIN E. COLI!  GMO E. coli.  Really?  REALLY?  It's like someone was sitting in some evil dark lab somewhere thinking of a way to kill people...hmm...what could I do here?  Let's see, what's really bad?  I know!  E. coli!  Yeah!  Well, but how can I make it even worse?  Oh yeah!  GMO it!

When it breaks down in your body, it becomes these unpronouncable things that have acronyms like DKP (a carcinogen), (among three or four others that I cannot even spell or imagine how to spell) methanol (nerve poison), formaldehyde (carcinogen anyone?), and formic acid (another nerve poison).
  
How did this crazy thing get into our food supply?

Oh I'm so glad you asked!

Well, it wasn't always permitted.  See, that was the problem.  The makers of aspartame (also known as NutraSweet, AminoSweet, Equal, Canderel, and an even more modified and heat-resistant version called neotame) were totally not able to sell their brilliant poison  product and this was totally a bummer, man!  Like how are they going to make like billions of dollars if they can't sell it?  Gosh!  So UNFAIR!  Their company name was G.D. Searle and you'll just pee your pants of shock to know that they were bought by your dear, sweet, loving and most favorite company of all: Mon Satan.  I mean, Monsanto.  Gosh, always get those confused.  Sorry.

Well, how are they going to get it FDA approved?  It was, then it wasn't.  Then testing was done, then it was criticized.  Everything was a mess.  Who can G.D. Searle get to save their ship?  Bum ba da bum - how about Donald Rumsfeld!  He got voted in as president of G.D. Searle and viola, all of their problems were solved.  SOMEHOW he got it slid right in with no problema whatsoever.  Golly, I was so worried for a minute!

That was in the early 80's.  The next year (OH SO MYSTERIOUSLY) saw a rise in brain tumors (up 60%) along with a rise in lymphomas and leukemia, but all the other cancers either decreased or stayed the same.  Huh.  That's weird.  Probably has nothing to do with the 70 billion zillion tons of aspartame that got dumped into every food product possible.  In one year, 80% of the complaints made to the FDA (and these are only the reported ones) were from consumption of products that contained aspartame.

Scientists and physicians started to raise their eyebrows here and make an outcry against this poison, but (you're going to be SO relieved when you hear this part) THANKFULLY, studies PAID FOR BY G.D. SEARLE (really?) said that everything was ship-shape, A-ok.  (Pay no attention to all the other studies that were saying it causes cancer, neurodegenerative diseases, should be illegal, etc.)

Since that time, several studies have been done.  One of the most famous ones comes from an Italian study that fed rats and mice aspartame and allowed them to die a natural death (most studies exterminate rats/mice at 110 days to check for results).  What they found was shocking.  (But not to you.)  Brain tumors and lymphomas were abundant and off the charts.  You do know that lymphomas used to be totally rare, right?  They are now crawling fast to the tops of the charts.

Monsatan didn't like that very much and had some of their peeps do some studies to show that aspartame was "very safe".  Once again, we can be so relieved, even though 92% of independent studies identified one OR MORE problems with its safety.  

What are some of the side effects of aspartame?  Check these out:
headache
dizziness
mood change
vomiting
nausea
abdominal pain/cramps
vision changes (one scientist volunteered to be a "guinea pig" and after consuming aspartame became blind in one eye)
diarrhea
seizures
convulsions
memory loss
fatigue
fibromyalgia
spasms
shooting pains
numbness in legs
tinnitus (ringing in ears)
joint pain
unexplainable depression (good thing THAT'S not common, eh?)
anxiety attacks
slurred speech
blurred vision
MS
lupus
premature birth
insulin resistance
vestibular and cochlear toxicity
migranes
decrease in dopamine (which leads to Parkinson's Disease)
learning disorders
lack of emotional functioning
brain tumors
lymphomas
leukemia
death

Read that off and pretend you're watching a prescription drug commercial.  Yeah.  Hilarious.

Not.

So most recently, Dr. Russell Blaylock has confirmed that aspartame (which is categorized as an excitotoxin) and other excitotoxins not only were prime CAUSES of cancer (they adhere to and break DNA - and what is broken DNA?  A mutation of cells - aka cancer.) but when cancer is finally present, it mobilizes cancer exponentially.  It is as if you just gave the cancer running shoes and built them some legs and told them to have a great marathon.  (MSG is another one of these excitotoxins.)

Just a teensy hunch, but I'm going to guess you DON'T want to do that if you've got cancer.

Where can you find this poison?  Gum, mints, low-fat yogurt, diet pop, sugar-free crap,  cereal, cooking sauces, CHILDREN'S MEDICATIONS, flavored waters and in pink packets on the restaurant tables.

If you'd like to watch a documentary about a woman who was poisoned by aspartame and went on a hunt for the truth, it's called Sweet Misery: A Poisoned World.  Youtube it.

If you're pregnant and consume any of these things, you may as well be stabbing your unborn child in the face with a blowtorch because the results for babies in-utero are exponentially worse and permanent.

Get that stuff OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.  Seriously.  It is not worth it.  Put it in a hazmat bag and get rid of it.

Don't become a statistic.

Peace, love and isn't the history of poison so INTERESTING!?
Ms. Daisy

Friday, April 26, 2013

The non-401K

I have this crazy idea.  You know how people are always freaking out about their future, their retirements, whether or not to use (and in what capacity) their 401K (or 403B), where to put their money and investments right now (savings accounts, CDs, precious metals, stocks, etc.)?

I have this idea.  You know, when it comes down to it, what is it exactly that people are looking for in their investments?  They are looking to be able to be sustained in the future, right?  They want to be able to be taken care of - to be able to live without starving, begging, or relying on other people.  They may want to experience things that they can't do while they are in the midst of their working life (extensive travel, etc.).

With so much uncertainty regarding all future events at all, it seems like a total crap shoot.  Yes, I mean, sure, there are things that outperform other things and you can educate yourself about such decisions (like it might not be the best thing in the whole world to put your money in a box and let it float down the river), but truly, when it comes down to it, you've got no 100% guarantee on any of it.  The stock market can crash any day, just ask the generation who lived through Black Tuesday and the Great Depression.  Banks can tank.  Precious metals can be stolen.  It's a little crazy.

What if - just WHAT IF we looked at our futures just a little bit differently?  What if we thought of ways of making it so that you could sustain at least your basic needs in the best way possible?  What if you invested in becoming self-sustaining?  What if you put your money into things that would make you independent?  What if you started off with investing time and brain power into something like making yourself a little hen house with some chickens?  What if you had a way to perpetuate your lovely chickens and get yourself some on-the-cheap delicious fresh eggs?  What if you went out from there and happened to have enough space to have your own cow?  What if you invested in learning how to make your own cheese?  What if you studied how to make yourself a fantastic garden and can your own delicious produce for you and your family to enjoy all the time?  What if you had some fruit trees for fresh preserves or some honey bees?  What if your cute little house had something like solar panels for electricity and you found a great way to heat it in the winter with the wood you collected and cut?  What if you knew how to smoke meats, culture your dairy, build things, fix things, and be truly independent?

The education you'd give yourself (over time, of course) would pay you back for your entire life and secure you in a way that otherwise would not be possible.  People can't rob you of your experiences, banks can't crash it out of you, it's not jumping up and down on the stock market as you bite your fingernails off.

I know it sounds crazy.  People don't do that, right?  But even if you didn't do ALL of it, what if you picked up a few things that made you more educated, more well-rounded, more independent?  What if you knew how to sew stuff and make yogurt and kombucha or build shelves, hand-craft your own canoe and repair plumbing?  

For the average life city-dweller this may sound like nothing outside of enduring torture, but isn't there something you really enjoy about the satisfaction of knowing how to do stuff and being able to do it well for yourself?  I think the joy that you can get from the satisfaction of knowing how to do any sort of these things would also increase overall life happiness levels.

I know it's not traditional, but perhaps it is something you may consider after you decide what it really is that you will need in the future.  I know your financial consultant isn't going to tell you to go that route, but your future should be well-thought out from a broad view.  

At the very least, wouldn't it be cool to at least know how to do those things, even if you don't do them continually?

Just a thought.

Peace, love and freedom has many facets,
Ms. Daisy

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Sugar: The devil?

As some of you know, my homepage is the Polyface Hen House (polyfacehenhouse.com).  If you're a regular, you may have seen Brie's post today about an assortment of different pieces of interesting information.  I was particularly interested in the section she linked to about sugar (and its usual deomonizaton).

She cites a link that I think you should read.  It's here: Empowered Sustinance

The author suggests that perhaps sugar is not the devil.  Now hold on just a minute here, my peeps.  You know when I say "sugar", I don't actually mean something that is white, powdery and comes from bleached beets or whatever.  This sugar that she talks about (the non-devil kind) is made up of the things like pure maple syrup (I prefer Grade B), raw honey, fruit, and the like.

Let me be clear.  Artificial "sugar" (xylitol, stevia, and all those horrid things in colorful packets), high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, bleached GMO beet sugar - all those creations ARE THE DEVIL.  I don't want you to think for even a fraction of a second that I would be suggesting that those are something you should consume any more than I would suggest you consume rat poison and eat paint chips and microwave food in plastic.  So this "Sugar: The devil?" question's answer to those kinds of sugar is an emphatic heck yeah.

Perhaps you are not aware that there are people out there who do think that those natural sugars actually are the devil - maple syrup, raw honey and fruit, that is.  This may seem to you like Roseanne Barr is wondering if Hulk Hogan should get on a better work out plan or something and how could this make any sense, but I am here to tell you that it's out there.  Peeps avoid even raw honey and the like because they are terrified that they will either be anti-paleo for doing so, or for some other reason.  (Doesn't that Sadkhin diet go there?  Pretty sure it does.)

The author did do this for a time on the GAPS diet.  She is a dancer and began to become increasingly lethargic (her adrenals were freaking out).  She basically started falling apart.  

Our bodies need natural sugars (like I said - raw honey, real maple syrup, and fruit) to function properly.  One of the most interesting things I learned in reading over this was about Stevia.  You have likely heard it is "natural".  While it may be derived from something in nature, the chemists who have altered it have done so to the detriment of those who choose to consume it.  When your body thinks you're going to receive sugar by signals from your palate, it gets itself ready for it.  Your bloodstream drops glucose (as some is on its way) out in preparation for the incoming load.  Stevia has a sweet taste but lacks in glucose.  When your body drops the glucose out and none comes to replace it (as it expected it to), it comes from other places in your body after your body starts yelling "Balance out!  Balance!!"  An adrenaline and cortisol surge floods and grabs stuff from where it can - your tissue, your liver, your muscles, etc. to bring you back into balance.

If you keep doing this, you're flooding  yourself with adrenaline and stealing nutrients from other parts of your body.  You don't have to be a total rocket scientist to figure out that probably isn't too good.  Eventually you will either fatigue out completely or you will overtax that adrenaline (which is supposed to be to save your life in times of fight or flight) and kill your adrenals.  (You kind of need them.)

So, recap:
Raw honey, pure maple syrup, fruit = good
artificial sugar, high fructose corn syrup, Stevia, corn syrup, GMO beet sugar = the devil

Glad we've got that all straightened out now.  

Peace, love and don't eat the devil,
Ms. Daisy

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Health Review: Conned by Canola?

I passed by my friend in Trader Joe's with my hubby.  He saw that she had TJ's multigrain waffles in her cart and jealously stated, "She USED to get those, I wish we still had them.  They're so nice and easy to use and make!"

My friend and my hubby instantly concluded that there must be something, who knows what it was, in its ingredient list that must have been on my list of Things That Seem Normal But Are Totally Poison.  Well, yes.  They were right.  It had soy lecithin and I'm no fan of soy.  That same friend had asked me on another day about canola oil and said she knew I wasn't a fan of it, but didn't know why.

I'm here to explain my position, based on what I have researched, on con-ola oil.  Oh.  Did I say that?  I mean canola oil.

We have to start with the history of canola oil to kind of understand its place (its rather prominent place, I might add) in our society today.  Canola oil is actually a made up word.  The edible oil industry and their homeboys had to make something up because its true source, the rapeseed plant, seemed kind of like a problem word.  Rape?  Yeah.  Not so good for marketing.  So they made up something that reminded them of "can do" and payola and as it came from Canada, they thought they might want to call it something like "Canada oil".  Well, whatever.  They got away from the whole idea of rape.  I guess the thought of rape doesn't really sell oil.  Or if it does, that's kind of even sicker.  So.

Meanwhile, back in the mid 1980's peeps (well, scientists, specifically) started seeing that the vegetable oils (corn oil) and soybean oil started bringing up crazy amounts of health problems.  They had to market something that would be the savior of the oil world.  People started writing books about "Omega Diets" and having people turn to the Mediterranean for true longevity and miraculous health.  They began researching olive oil and found that hey - it was really good for you and did not bring out those problems people had with corn oil and soybean oil.  Great.

Except one problem.  They couldn't get enough of it.  There just wasn't enough of it to go around.  Not only that, but they had to have something way cheaper.  The processed foods industry couldn't pay all that money for olive oil when they were used to doing it on the cheap with corn oil or soybean oil.  That would drive their prices up, and thus, their profits low.  But based on the research, they still needed something that mimicked the properties of olive oil.  Where to look?

In India, China and Japan for hundreds of years people had used fresh-pressed rapeseed oils.  Upon initial review, scientists saw that rapeseed contained significant levels of erucic acid.  What's wrong with erucic acid?  Well, it is a 22-carbon monounsaturated fatty acid that is directly linked to Keshan's disease - which shows up in the form of fibrotic lesions on your heart.  Yeaaaah, not so good.  I'm good without the fibrotic lesions, thanks.  Why weren't people all over India and the rest of Asia filled with fibrotic heart lesions?  It has to do with a balance of good fats (lard, butter, ghee, tallow, coconut oil, and palm oil) in their diets that ward off the negative affects.  Unfortunately, the diet gurus of today preach eating low fat and staying away from such evils as butter, lard, ghee, tallow, and the like.  Hello, heart lesions!

So the scientists came up with a clever way to get rid of that nasty stuff by genetically modifying and seed splitting it.  Ah, so clever.  I am so glad we do know better, aren't you?  I'm sure nothing bad could come of taking the DNA code and changing it.  It's probably so very smart of us!  Gosh, science is the best.  Now they fixed it right up so it was low in erucic acid and had plenty of those 18-carbon oleic acids (which they wanted).  They called it LEAR, meaning low erucic acid rapeseed.  They started selling it in 1986, but the farmers who took up with it took a huge hit and it didn't catch on.  I guess people didn't like the word rapeseed or LEAR sitting in their cupboards.

Back to the drawing board.

This is when they had to do two things.  The first was to rename it - that's when it became "canola" oil.  It was produced mostly in Canada (eh) but had a big problem.  It did not get GRAS status.  (GRAS stands for "generally recognized as safe".)  This was kind of a huge problem since the FDA couldn't give it a stamp of approval and thus, peeps wouldn't be buying it.  Argh for them!  By some just absolutely WONDERFUL miracle, it secretly got GRAS status in 1986.  I suppose it had nothing to do with the $50 million that the Canadian government put foward to the FDA to encourage this wonderful miracle.  And yes, I'm serious.

Now it's green lighted and ready to go, they just had to call up their marketing deparatment for more special tricks to let us know  why on earth we should be gobbling it up in every direction.  You can't just put out tv adverts like you're aiming for these low class monsters in between The Simpsons and Jerry Springer, no.  You've got to high-class it up.  How?  Ah yes!  Got it.  Sell high-end fancy schmancy cookbooks and promote them as all the rage (for anyone who's anyone, that is) and it will trickle down the line to the pathetic masses.  Lucky little pathetic masses!

Finally it caught on, glory and hallelujah.   At first, it was said that canola was safe.  Well, unfortunately, no long term studies had been done which is kind of a requirement in being honest about whether something is quite safe or not.  Well, what the heck, right?  For $50 million dollars I think you could have a lot of people declaring pretty much anything is pretty stinkin great/safe/miraculous, whatever you want!

So what do the few studies actually say anyway?  In 1978 in the Netherlands the Unilever corporation wanted to do some testing to see whether or not the new LEAR oil caused heart lesions in test animals (like the oil that had the high levels of erucic acid did).  The results were mixed.  Rats that were genetically bred to have heart troubles in the first place (those heart lesions) ended up having even more heart lesions.  They compared this to the rats that were in the same heart category but were fed on diets of olive oil, sunflower oil or flax oil.  The other rats that were bred with healthy heart characteristics were not affected as the others.

In 1979, they pooled several studies to test what happens when LEAR oil and other oils are taken together.  What they found out won't shock you that much - when rats got to have other heart healthy fats (like coconut oil) - they had built a protective barrier and were not prone to heart lesions.

An interesting study in 1997 showed that piglets that were given canola oil in their milk replacement solution had a Vitamin E deficiency and a low platelet count (with increased platelet size).  This was even shown although the milk replacement had adequate levels of Vitamin E present.  

Other studies showed that rats who were bred with proneness to heart disease had shortened life spans when their diet consisted of canola oil.

In some more recent studies, high consumption of monounsaturated fats was directly linked to increased rates of breast cancer.  Good thing we aren't seeing any of that around in the world today, eh?

Oh.  Yeah.

So from this side of the fence, I'm going to choose to stay away from it.  Not only is it in the top 3 of the GMO crops of the entire world, but the studies that do exist do not shine favorable lights onto it.  What will come of the long term studies?  What will we see in the future in regard to the consumption of this highly processed and refined oil? I fear that it is one of the ingredients that will take us down the road away from health and natural living although it is disguised as a healthy alternative and even a heart-healthy savior for those who are prone to heart issues (with one look at the studies, you know it's nothing but the opposite which makes me kinda irritated).

Take a good look in your cupboard and decide where you want to draw the line.  Do your research and make your own educated decision.

It genuinely one day may save your life.

Peace, love and dump the garbage in the garbage,
Ms. Daisy

Monday, April 15, 2013

Could it be? Is it possible?

If you know anything about the seasons in the midwest of the United States, you know that in some parts, winter lasts about 5 or 6 months, summer lasts about 3, fall lasts about 2 and a half months and spring lasts about four minutes.  Today is the first day it really feels like spring and elated does not even begin to describe my sentiment.  

Oh!  The wonder of spring!  Things growing, turning green, the smell of the ground being thawed out with rain (or continual torrential downpour for 5 days, which is what it was last week), birds chirping and returning back to the frigid tundra (my special nickname for the midwest), and best of all - it is the gateway to the best season of all: hot weather season!  (Some people call it "summer".)

(Which is why fall is the WORST season of all since it represents the death of the warm weather season and the gateway into frigid 6-month horrors.  This is not even to mention the tree litter that cascades and douses your lawn as if it were some kind of dump truck on the expressway with its top off, just so you can rake up 45 5-foot-tall yard bags worth of the junk.)

It is the season for lawns.  For edging (OH!  GLORY!  HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!), weed whipping, mowing, (I really show get a cow for this, but since my back yard is about the size of your neighbor's Honda civic, I guess it might not work out), for grading your neighbor's lawns!  (Oh wait.  No.  Just admire the good ones.)

And gardening!  (Seriously, how could anyone NOT love spring?!)  I am especially excited as my new issue of Urban Farm just came today.  

What are you looking forward to?  What are you growing in your garden?  Do you have a cow to cut your grass for you or do you do it via mower?

Hooray!  Spring!  

Peace, love and green stuff everywhere!
Ms. Daisy

Friday, April 12, 2013

My kind of party!

I am SO EXCITED about the new book I got in the mail.  I was peeking out the window, watching for the mail lady to bring me a wonderful large envelope containing this fascinating and delightful book.  I waited for days...and then - it finally came.  

The rays of heavenly sunshine and the angels singing announced that yesterday the beloved book had arrived.

I tore open the yellow envelope and beheld it - it was everything I had hoped for.  And more!

What is this amazing book, you may wonder?  I will be ever so glad to tell you.

It is - Grammar by Diagram by Cindy L. Vitto.  This book is a thorough investigation into the fascinating look at grammar and diagramming sentences.  She is a delight and a wonder.  Oh!  The organization of this book!  She even devotes a great deal of her introduction to explaining why the book is organized as it is.

I could hardly wait until the children were in bed to cozy up on the couch with my new grammar book.  It even includes quizzes!  Be still my beating heart.  I eagerly began - she starts, of course, with nouns and pronouns (what sane person wouldn't!) and does not only just give you the general idea; she dives in head first and gives all sorts of wonderful categories (subjective, objective, reflexive, intensive, possessive, indefinite, reciprocal, interrogative, demonstrative and relative).  Joy of all joys!

As I absorbed every jot and tittle, I began thinking as I approached the diagramming how completely and utterly fun sentence diagramming is and I had this great thought: oh my goodness, party games!

I asked my sleeping husband, "Oh honey!  I have an idea!  Wouldn't it be a fun party game to diagram sentences?"

He roused himself awake to answer, "Um...well...not for me..."

Party pooper!

Yeah, I guess not, though.  Already at our parties we don't serve pop (poison) and my kids think dessert is eating a prune, so if I started passing out sentences to diagram, I guess that might put some people over the top.

Well, I would like it anyway.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll just save it for my birthday instead of pulling it off as a fun kid's game (like instead of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey?).  

But it is TOTALLY THEIR LOSS.

And now, back to p. 61.

Peace, love and I love pedestaling prepositional phrases that function as predicate adjectives,
Ms. Daisy

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Camp Horror Food

Have you ever sent your offspring to summer camp?  Usually, once they get around an appropriate age where they are fairly self-sufficient, they are allowed to go hang out for a week with their peers and do hedonistic things all day like go swimming, zip-lining, pet animals, and the like.

Now to be fair, they do have camp counselors who are hired to corral them and tell them when they have to wake up, eat and go to sleep.  It is almost a function of growing up in these United States.

While all of these things seem oh-so-beneficial (yes, sounds like it, quite sure), there is something that alarms me just a teensy bit (as if a week of pure wild hedonism isn't quite enough) and that is the utter quality and purity of the food selections offered.  I am pretty sure that we're straight up GFS-ing it (GFS, if you don't have it, is a bulk "food" store where you can get "food" in aluminum cans that are bigger than your toilet and all manner of preserved and pre-fabbed quasi-foods filled to the top with pretty much everything you would never think of putting into your own mouth - partially hydrogenated oils, artifical colors, preservatives, high fructose corn syrup, GMO soy and corn products, and anything else you would scoff wildly at.  Or I would, whatever.) for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  For a week.

What's a responsible parent to do?  You know, being that, if we go out to eat at all (which we do, four times a year - once for Valentine's Day with our friends, and for 3 birthdays), we pretty much instantly get sick the day after (or two).  It's great.  So I can imagine the amount of loveliness that it would be for my little to fill up on such yum-sies for an entire week.  This compounded with 2 hours less sleep daily is sure to make a delight of a child.  

So what would you do?

Here's what I'm thinking.  I probably should just call the place and ask if they would be okay with me sending a week's worth of food.  What's the harm in that, eh?  You never know until you ask.  And if you're ever faced with this, perhaps if there are enough of us out there who want a better food choice for our children, maybe they'll be inspired to change their food choices and provide something more real.

How to get to that spot?  I think it's through educating people who make those decisions about food choices.  Kinda like your own personal version of Jamie Oliver.

It's do-able and it's worth it.

Peace, love and feed them well!
Ms. Daisy

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Just a quickster...

Overheard in my house - two children playing:

Child 1: (Holding a toy.) Is this a bad guy (girl?)?
Child 2:  Yes.
Child 1:  Does she speed, smoke cigarettes and (dramatic voice) DRINK POP?!

We clearly do nothing but walk on the wild side over here.  Perception is everything.

Don't be a bad guy (gal).

Peace, love and happy Tuesday,
Ms. Daisy

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Traumatized...

I do apologize for being away for such a long time today, but I assure you I've had good reason.   

Mainly that reason is because I've just begun to get over the trauma I've experienced today.

Yes!  I said it.

(And now I must explain.)

You see, my mother, well.  She - the truth is - she loves coffee.  I mean LOVES.  (As you know I am one of the eleven people in the United States who turns a snobbish nose at the stuff and pinkies up to my tea cup.)  But this is not so bad at the first.  When I tell you the second part, you will know why this is something a bit dramatic.

She does not love Starbucks coffee (too strong), she does not love Biggby.  Tim Horton's is okay.  Dunkin' Donuts is getting quite near the top of the ladder.  But tied up there, hanging out with Timmy is...oh gosh, I can't even saaaay it.  For crying out loud, she loves...McDonald's coffee.

I am pretty sure Satan is the president of McDonald's.  But I digress.

One time, I was in her car and we were driving to the mall or something and she decided that she wanted to GO THROUGH A DRIVE-THROUGH FAST FOOD PLACE and get a coffee.  (This food place was the aforementioned devil-land.)

It has been probably six or seven years since I have driven through a drive-through place and I look at them now as I pass and yell things (even though they can't hear me) about how they're paying to eat poison and such things.  Sometimes if I'm exceptionally pensive, the sight of people in a drive-through (which they spell "thru", yeah.  Ohhh kay.) will make me wonder about the whole meaning of this world and make me think about converting to full-time farmerhood instantly.  Sometimes if my offspring are in the car and they are behaving poorly, I will threaten that we will turn into a drive-through fast food place.  They immediately stop their tomfoolery at this suggestion.

It is the saddest place on earth.

So as she was driving me through it, I (consciously or not) slumped down in my seat hoping nobody would associate me with the M-word.  I smiled sheepishly as the friendly quasi-food hander-outer passed off the poison coffee to my mother's delighted hands.  My face looked like some kind of nervous tick smile, my eyes being filled with dread and panic.

Fast forward to today.

My mother is being ultra-helpful and babysitting the littles while I get many unpleasant errands done - she is even cleaning my house because I have company coming over.  She is even SEWING curtains for me.  So yes, she deserved like $20 million dollars, a crown and an award.  But all she wanted was...yes, folks, a McDonald's coffee.

Which means.

I. have. to. go. to. a. McDonalds.  More than that.  Through the drive-through!

I was running tight on time so I couldn't drive to Ohio (to be safely out of sight of anyone who would recognize me) or California, so I had to go to a McDonald's around  my house.  For a few moments (as the fear paralyzed me) I thought of calling my hubby and asking him to get it on the way home,  but then I made myself pull on my big girl panties and man up.  

I must sacrifice it all for my sacrificial mother!  I must go through the McDonald's drive-through!  Arggggh!

Oh the conflict!  Do you understsand that I have some kind of bumper sticker that says something like, "Support your local organic farmers"?  Do you know what happens if you drive that bumper sticker through a McDonald's?  It implodes.  And probably your fingernails melt off.  At least I was sure that was the likely situation, anyway.

So, bravely I went.  I got less brave as I got into the line.  I purposely moved my head out of the view of the person behind me looking into any mirror at me and then put on my sunglasses and hood just in case.  I began thinking I was pretty sure that this is how it would feel if a Christian person had to walk into a devil-worshipper building to pick up some brochures.  (I really don't know if they have brochures, but you get the idea.)

Besides it seeming what must have been something like four years in that line, I came out mostly unscathed (at least on the outside), minus the zits I acquired at the stressfulness of the situation.  The mission was accomplished.  I did not answer "nothing" when the person asked what they could get for me today, I did not eek out, "You are serving poison and murdering the world."  All I said was, "small black coffee, please."  

(twitch, twitch)

I'm perfectly fine.

(twitch)

Peace, love and that will be $1.06 at the first window,
Ms. Daisy

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Open Letter to Senator Blunt: Creator of the Monsanto Protection Act

Dear Senator Blunt,

I understand that you had an integral part in devising what has now been nicknamed the "Monsanto Protection Act" and I write to you today to ask you to think about the eternal consequences for doing so. 

According to many sources, you claim that you are a Southern Baptist.  If this is truly your conviction, you believe that in the beginning God (through his Son, Jesus) created the world and declared that it was good.  If you adhere to other Southern Baptist doctrine, you believe that God is the author of life and He is supreme and the authority over our physical world (as well as spiritual). 

Your decision to support, create a bill for and protect the biotech company Monsanto spits in the face of God as sovereign creator and protects a business whose unquenchable thirst for money and power disturbs, destroys and disfigures the world that God created and the people in it.  I am sure you are well-read enough to know of the sterilization and death that comes as a result of the consumption of genetically modified crops and seeds.

At your hands, you have allowed, promoted and protected a company who will be at fault for death.  The blood of those who will be affected is on your hands.  However you thought of this or justified it, it will eventually come to you and be your condemnation.  Your children Matt, Amy, Andrew and Charlie (along with your grandchildren Davis, Eva, Ben, William, Brooks and Allyson) will live in the world that you have helped make exponentially more toxic and sick.

Perhaps you can use your 30 pieces of silver to buy yourself a good field.

Sincerely,
Ms. Daisy

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Pasties do not equal carpet on the ceiling

Hei nainen and mies!  And that is all the Finnish you get for the day.  It is likely that it doesn't even make any grammatical sense (and do please ignore the English word in there...doesn't exist...), however, I do not claim proficiency in the Suomi language.

Okay, okay, meanwhile, back in the Batcave - I'm here today to talk about the dinner I'm cooking in the oven.  Oh I wish you could even just get a whiff of it!  It is delightful.    This recipe comes from my 99 year-old grandmother.  She got this recipe from her husband (who, presumably, got it from his mother).  Beyond that, I know not it's source.  But if you know what a Yooper is, THAT is the source.

For all of you who just think I just made up a weird word, no, no, no.  I did not.  Well, not this time, anyway.  A Yooper is a person from Michigan's Upper Penninsula.  The name comes from what we call the Upper Penninsula here - it's called the "U.P." (yoo-pee), thus, the inhabitants are called "Yoopers".  Yoopers are special people.  They like snow.  My grandfather was a Yooper and brought this recipe with him when he moved away from that snowy, 2-tracked world.

What is this food of such historical significance?  I shall tell you.  It is a pasty.

This food is so beloved and so tied in with the identity of those who live in the area that the area of Calumet in the U.P. even has a Pasty Festival in June. Pasties were also adopted and tied to the large Finnish population that came to that area.  I looked to see if I could find the source of where pasties came from, and there is also a town in western England (Cornwall) that swears they've got the market on pasties - apparently there is even a "PGI" on it - a protected geographical indication (you know how like true balsamic vinegar only truly comes from Modena and champagne really only comes from that area in France, yeah, that.).  BUT, to put in for my Yooper heritage, if you go to pasty.com, it's a U.P. website shipping pasties anywhere (you should try one).

I grew up eating this dinner and you know that whenever you grow up doing something, you think it's pretty normal and everyone must do it, even if NO ONE does. This is one of the reasons that I thought it perfectly normal that at my parent's cottage that it had carpet on the floors as well as the ceilings.  Normal.  See, told ya.  It was cold up there and probably the people who had lived there before us must have been carpet salesmen...or...some...thing...?

Batcave, Daisy, get back in the Batcave.

Yes, ahem.  So.  Anyway, even though carpet on the ceiling is weird (I do know that now), this meal is very un-weird and is just totally delicious.

So, what exactly is a pasty?  It is basically an individual pie made of dinner-ish items.  The recipe I have is a meat and veggie mix in a wonderful pastry shell.  If you're going to have a proper pasty, it must by pure definition include rutabaga.  Other veggies in my pasty are carrots, potatoes, and onions.  You salt and pepper them and dump them into a bowl all cut up (when they're about the same size, they cook evenly and your life is better).  Then you mix in (by hand) uncooked meat.  My grandmother's recipe calls for ground sirloin.  I happened to read up on the history of pasties and back in the 13th century in England, they were made with venison.  They are recorded throughout history in random places (almost all accounts from England) and even Jane, Henry VIII's favorite wife, sent him one and wrote that she hoped it got to him in better condition than the last one that she sent.

If Henry liked it, well, then...it must be good!  (Let's not go blanket on that statement lest we include beheading spouses, I'm just here to support the pasties.)

So you've got to try it.  Make a simple pastry crust recipe (flour, salt, butter and ice water).  Chop veggies like it's going out of style: potatoes, yellow onions, rutabaga, and carrots.  Make them all relatively the same size and dash them with salt and pepper.  Dump in some meat (may I recommend grass-fed, please?) and mix away.  After you roll out your dough, make six (or however many you intended) and fill them up with your veggie/meat combo.  Roll the dough over and make them in the shape of a D, crimping the edges.  Bake at 375F for 10 minutes then at 350F for 60 minutes.

Eat with ketchup and ask how you went this long without them.

Peace, love and pasties,
Ms. Daisy

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