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Monday, June 23, 2014

Randoms, Vol. VII

Question: What will happen if you do any of the following things -
 a) wash your car (by hand)
 b) hang out your laundry (esp. if you have extra huge loads)
 c) water your grass for an hour

If you've guessed that IT WILL RAIN, you are 100% correct. 

I wonder about people in drought-filled areas - doing all of these things in the same morning will not only cause it to rain, but cause it to have torrential downpour flooding.

I only did two of those things, so I'm guessing we might only have an hour or seven of rain in about ten minutes.


Peace, love and I love you, Murphy's Law!
Ms. Daisy

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Sen. McCaskill is funded by big pharma and Monsatan - are you surprised?

Yesterday I wrote a letter to Senator Claire McCaskill.

I was very concerned about what her problem was for going off on a TV doctor (Dr. Oz) about recommending green coffee beans for weight loss while the world falls to pieces (Iraq, our baz-gillion dollar debt, the destruction of the middle class, health care, etc., etc, etc.).  I was bewildered why this would be her platform when in the whole scope of things this makes her look like candidate numero uno for the insane asylum.

Today I found out what her deal was.  

You'll be shocked (and awed). 

Homegirl McCask has homeboys in big pharma!  Whuuuuuuuuuuut!

Oh yeah, baby.  And not only that, but homegirl is sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g with everyone's favorite, most ethical, most popular, most murderous (oh wait) companies in the history of the whole freakin' world: Monsatan!

This girl is hopping up on her platform to protect her poor wittle fwiends who would just be out in the cold with nowhere to go, no place to lay their sweet little heads at night.  She is practically Mother Stinkin' Teresa.  


Maybe we should find out.

McCaskill has received $146,000 from a combination of Express Scripts (one of the biggest peddlers of every pharmaceutical company's whimsical wares anywhere) and Monsatan. 

 Check it out: McCaskill gets phat dough from homeboys Monsanto and Big Pharma

 Do I hear a "recall" out there?

But what is beyond me is wondering what it would be like to be her. 

Can you imagine pillowing your head at night, knowing you're a puppet and mouthpiece for the destruction of the world?  You are on the wrong side of good.  You are on the bad guy's team, and you sold out your soul for some money and what you think is your ounce of power, when all you really are is a pusher for the sickos.  They own you. 

Betcha that's what she said when someone asked her as a little girl, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

 We've got news for ya, sista.  There ain't no future in yo' frontin'.

Peace, love and let's buy green coffee beans,
Ms. Daisy

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Letter To Senator McCaskill: going after Dr. Oz for liking green coffee beans

Dear Senator McCaskill,

I've read recently about your confrontation with Dr. Oz regarding green coffee beans and I am very concerned, and I believe you should be, too.

I am not what I would call a "fan" of Dr. Oz (I've seen his show once), but for you, as a senator, to call him to a trial for suggesting that green coffee beans might help weight loss is alarming to me.  There are a few reasons why this is so.

First of all, it seems to me that there are about fifty (billion) other more pressing and dangerous issues at hand and you have chosen to waste my money (and that of others) to call out a TV doctor about a weight loss claim.  Are you aware of what is going on in Iraq?  Do you know that we are in a crippling state of debt and that foreign countries who back the dollar are feeling that we're probably not worth it anymore?  It seems to me that if these are important to you, perhaps you would be spending your energy doing something that matters instead of hunting down a quasi-celebrity for suggesting that a supplement might help some fatties.

Second of all, besides making you look very foolish for pursuing such things, it makes people question who backs you and your campaign.  Are you bff's with the drug companies that you have to climb onto your podium and defend them from a couple of fat people trying green coffee beans instead of their product?  Besides my first thought of thinking you have obviously nothing more important to do than chase Dr. Oz, my second was that you are either funded by Merck or GlaxoSmithKline or some other big drug conglomerate and you don't want anyone thinking that they could live without them.  Were you put up to this by them?  Or are you terrified that relatively cheap green coffee beans with no major side effects (blindness, liver failure, blood clots, etc.) might take away profit sharing from GSK?  It makes you look bad, to be perfectly honest.

Please stop wasting everyone's time and money and please use your time in office for important things.  Go fight for things that matter.  Even if the media are on your side, I can tell you that the public is raising their eyebrows at you - at the very least thinking your pursuit unimportant and at most, thinking you are engaged in total buffoonery and ought to be relieved of your office to make way for someone who will pursue things that actually matter.

If you're so concerned about obesity, perhaps you should call Jamie Oliver to revamp the school food systems.  Or maybe you could make a motion to stop subsidizing genetically modified corn (that is used to make high fructose corn syrup, which encourages weight gain).  Perhaps you could support people growing their own fresh food instead of gobbling up Big Macs.

No?  Or just go after Dr. Oz.  

Yeah, that makes sense.  

Have a great day.

Ms. Daisy


Thursday, June 12, 2014

Ginger Beer: Explosively Good

Hello and welcome to the kitchen of Ms. Daisy.  Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to get drenched in a liter of your own homemade exploding ginger beer?  Have you ever had a desperate longing to dodge glass shrapnel in your own house?  Did you miss out on the era of Drano bombs and you have deep regrets?  Have you ever wanted to scrub every surface, every crack, corner, nook and cranny of your basement?  Well, have a seat, and you can vicariously live through my fun afternoon. Follow these simple steps and you, too, can have the fantastically sticky and memorable experience you've always dreamed of.

It all started about ten days ago when I got the itch to brew up some homemade ginger beer.  I have done this before (but not with such explosive results) and the taste of ginger beer on a hot, summer day is the stuff dreams are made of.  So I got out my trusty Nourishing Traditions cookbook and flipped to the back of the book where lies many fabulous beverage concoctions.  (Kombucha included.)  

Some people do it differently, but with NT, you make a ginger bug by adding 2 teaspoons of ginger (dried) and 2 teaspoons of sugar (organic) daily to 1.5 cups of filtered water for 7 days.  On the 7th day, you pour off the liquid of the bubbly bug and add water, sugar and lemon juice and then bottle that baby up for 14 days.

I bottled on June 9 (today is the 12th).  I filled up each one so carefully not to spill a single drop (as this whole process takes at least 3 weeks - and it is so good, you don't want to miss any - and you know you're going to want to drink every single bottle on day 1 and have to start right over again and wait another 3 weeks for another sip).  I placed them in a row in the dungeon basement.  Weren't they so cute?  Yes, they were.

Until today.

We went out to Costco for some organic spring mix and bananas (but epic fail, this Costco is ghetto and doesn't carry organic ones) and then over to the favorite health food store to stock up on vitamins.

Upon returning home, I instructed one of the littles to whip up a batch of dog food (this entails soaking her $50 dog food in pancreatic enzymes that are crushed with a mortar and pestle in tepid water for an hour).  This little is a dramatic little.  Upon approaching the area where the dog food is prepared, screaming ensued.  "Emergency!  Emergency!  Help, Mom, help!!!"  

Now if any of you have dramatic littles, you know that this could mean any number of things.  It could mean that there is a spider on the ground; it could mean that laundry is on the floor in the wrong spot (this little is very particular, I might add); it could mean that the computer is smoking and shooting out laser rays into onlooker's eyeballs, blinding them for life; or it could mean there is broken glass.  I skipped through the others and flat out asked, "What?  Is it broken glass?"
Which bottle would you like to drink out of?

If you have a house filled with females, perhaps this is not the first thing that you think of.  If you have a house filled with boys, you know that you will bag up one broken item of glass at an average of twice a month and it is somewhat of a standard issue.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner - broken glass it is.

With a twist.

"And, Mom!  There's ginger beer all over everything!  Everything is all wet!"

Oh goodie.

One of my ginger beers has exploded.  This means two things - I need to clean that up and second, what is the likelihood that several more are waiting to explode this very minute?  Let's go find out.

I want you to imagine that you love ginger beer.  And it is a good thing you do, because your basement will never NOT smell like it again.  

"Little, bring me the paper towels!" Little comes back with ONE paper towel.  Yeap, that's gonna do it.

After three towels and flamboyant use of paper towels, the place was cleaned up.  There is a sink there and I thought it would be a good idea to test out the other bottles inside of the sink and let off some pressure if they were also about to blast the basement to smithereens.

Let me ask you.  Have you ever wished you could be one of those baseball players who wins something or the NASCAR guys when they shake up a bottle of champagne and spray it all over your face?  If you always wondered what that was like, I can tell you.  It is sticky.

I EVER so slowly opened the cap to one of those bottles and Mt. Vesuvius erupted straight upward, all over the ceiling, all over the walls, all over the everything.  Do you know what happens when you try to use your hand to contain it?  That would be called your own Personal Ginger Beer Shower.  Great.  There are three inches of liquid left.  Good thing I was so freakin careful not to spill a drop three days ago, eh?

Where were those towels again?

The next bottles were opened out of doors.  I think the ants are happy.

Well, gotta go scrub off.  I'm sure ginger is good for your skin somehow.  After that, maybe I'll have a sip of ginger beer.  Or I could skip washing a cup and just start licking my arms.  Whatever.

Peace, love and bottoms up,
Ms. Daisy

Friday, June 6, 2014

Fire cider

Have you ever heard of fire cider?  Neither had I until something like last night.

I read the ingredients and thought, "Oh wow, that totally sounds like it tastes like dog butt!" (Pardon my French.)  And then my second thought was, "I am pretty sure that is the most powerful combination of germ killers in the entire natural world all in one place.  I am going to make it in case anyone gets sick."

So here I am.  I bought the horseradish root today along with some whole turmeric root, but besides that I had the rest of the ingredients.  I began my experimentation just an hour or so ago.

I had to step away from my culinary processes because my eyes were burning out and tears were involuntarily pouring from my face.  Am I making you want to try this?  I bet!

I think you probably have to have some serious try this thing.  I don't think I actually fall into that category, but since I want to, well, ain't no stoppin' me, baby.

So what the heck is in this stuff, you sit by and wonder in bewilderment?  Let me tell you what my version contained and then I'll link you over to the original (and perhaps traditional) recipe. Mountain Rose Herb's fire cider recipe.

I chopped up the following like a wild, sassy, sous chef:

1 insanely wild ginger root the size of my hand
1 long crazy turmeric root that looked like a smallish carrot
8 cloves of garlic (I minced these to near squoosh)
1.5 organic onions (I had a half of one left over, hey, why not toss it in?)
1 piece of horseradish root about 7 inches long and 1" in diameter on its wider side
2 lemons, juiced and then their rinds ripped apart like I was a T-Rex
several shakes of organic dried rosemary (I think of rosemary and instantly the words "woody stalk" come to mind.  Why? Probably the hair dye.)

That totally insane pile of anti-inflammatory, anti-viral, anti-biotic, anti-fungal, anti-bad germ anything all went into a glass jar.  Actually, two.  The jars were not so huge, so I thought it would be more appropriate to split them up.

Then, and only then, did I pour so much organic Braggs apple cider vinegar all over that stink pile that it came to the top.  I put a piece of parchment paper in between the liquid and the jar lid as I'm pretty sure that stuff could eat a hole in your sidewalk if left for enough time.  I shook it up and then took a picture of it.  I think this step is optional, but I bet most people do it.

Now, according to the directions, I'm supposed to shake it daily but keep it in a cool, dry place for a month.  At that point, you strain out the stuff (since the lady at Mountain Rose Herbs said it will start disintegrating) and keep the liquid.  You then pour a whole hot mess of local organic honey into it so that you don't die when you taste it.  Well, she didn't say that part, that was me.

And then, if anyone threatens illness around you, you just grab a teaspoon and your handy dandy fire cider jar and follow after them and they will miraculously get better (either because they are terrified that you will make them sip it or because it will work on them).

So, what do you think?  Totally crazy?  I guess people swear by it.  I'll try anything...once.  Maybe more if it is good.  Check it out below, a famous herbalist who lives in the mountains is going to show you her version of it, if you'd like to see what your eyes couldn't believe someone would concoct in print - here it is on video.

On that note, gonna go shake my fire cider.

Peace, love and are you feeling well today?
Ms. Daisy

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Oh my gosh, I got a Twitter account.

Horrifying, right?

I totally agree.

Okay, let me explain.  As you likely know, I left facebook quite a while ago and it was nearly the most liberating things I have done in my entire life.  So why am I picking up another stupid social media vice?

Honestly?  To argue with idiots, I think.

I know.  That's the same thing as facebook.  (But facebook has more pictures of people's breakfasts.)

Well, whatever.  Maybe in like two hours I'll decide it was too stupid to pursue.  Maybe the orange hair chemicals have seeped into my brain and have made my previously clean brain tainted beyond recognition.  Either way, it is what it is.

If you're on there and want to peek, you'll find me @daisyglitters.  If you don't have a Twitter account, I suppose I ought to say by all means, and for heaven's sake, don't start now.  

Peace, love and submit this as evidence not to dye your hair,
Ms. Daisy