What I am about to share with you does precisely this.
If you don't know Mike Adams ("The Health Ranger"), then you betta ask somebody! He is a genius researcher scientist with his own website (perhaps you've heard of it - naturalnews.com? I thought so.).
Here is his rendition of the ridiculous things available to our culture (and the even more baffling is the fact that apparently SOME PEOPLE must be actually purchasing this stuff).
So, enjoy (sort of?) this rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas. And please, don't buy me the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book - I already have two.
Peace, love and don't be a zombie,