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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Tis the season for natural cleaning!

Many people find January the perfect month for cleaning up.  It's a fresh new year, and you want to rid yourself of the dust of last year and start with a nice clean slate.  So, you break out the Windex, the Soft Scrub with bleach, the Oxyclean and go berzerk.  Small problem.  This is going to conflict with your other New Year's resolutions to become "greener", healthier, and less toxic.

So many cleaning products out there are totally toxic, and I want to save you from them.  

How do you know if what you're using is deathpaste, anyway?

Glad you asked.

First, check to see if you've got some poison lurking in your home over at the EWG.  The EWG is an independent organization that has a worthwhile mission - rid the planet of toxic chemicals.  Their plan?  An informed public.  They have a database that you can look up your cleaning products (along with sunscreen, cosmetics, and other stuff you slather on your body, squirt in your air, and wipe all over your home).  Here is their page on all of their databases: EWG consumer guides.  They rate each product (grades A - F) and ingredient and show you different areas of concern (environment, reproductive health, cancer, respiratory, and skin allergies).  This page is one of my top go-to's and is an amazing resource.  Bookmark this baby and check back on it often.

If you've found that your household contains products that are killing you and your family (and if you're using stuff that is mass produced, you have a high chance that it is), move to step two: Go on over to Ms. Daisy's Norwex site.  You'll find amazing solutions for cleaning your home in a non-toxic, and truly non-chemical way.  How is this possible?  Oh, I KNEW you wanted to know! If you haven't yet heard of Norwex, it is a company that makes silver-woven microfiber.  You do know the benefits of silver, right?  It kills baddies like nobody's beeswax so you can have a truly clean surface.  This microfiber is used ONLY with WATER, so you don't get crazy endocrine disruptors, funky fake scents, and poisons on your hands, surfaces, up your nostrils and into your children's bloodstreams.  Now when I say "microfiber", some of you are like, yeah, microfiber, whatevs.  I can get microfiber at the dollar store.  Yeah.  You can.  That's called the crap microfiber.  Might I recommend the Mercedes?  In order for anything to be classified as microfiber, the fibers must be 1/6 the size of a human hair.  Norwex blows the lid off of that and goes to 1/200th of a human hair.  I kid you not.  Like I said, Mercedes.

Now, you're likely thinking a couple of things here.  When I first heard of it, I turned my nose up at it and thought, "WhatEVER!!  Like, so DUMB!  I make my OWN cleaning stuff, and I am superior.  Duh!!"  So, a dear person sent me a couple of microfiber cloths in the mail for me to try and I have to tell you it shut me up in about two seconds.  I cleaned my entire house top to bottom three days in a row while I stood back and drooled at the results.  This leads to the second thing people think, which is, yeah, okay, but does it actually work?  I am slightly OCD (read: as in the same way China is a slightly populated country) and I am rather particular about how my house looks.  Unfortunately (or fortunately) I am also particular about what I put in my house, so there are many things that won't pass the test in that arena.  I will personally vouch for these things.  They are ridiculous. 

If you are someone who is more than happy with the results you are getting with vinegar and water, I applaud you.  If you are using vinegar and water and it's not doing what you wish it was, check the Norwex out.  If you are using anything you can buy in the store (Soft Scrub, Tilex, 409, Clorox wipes, Lysol stuff, etc.), I am putting this out there for you - begging you to take a look at it.  Norwex will get you cleaner than that stuff without any toxic effects on your environment or destroying your children's reproductive organs.  (I tend toward being dramatic, but in this, I assure you, I am being dead serious.)

I recommend all of the microfiber, the cleaning paste (giant tears of joy on this one - removes black permanent marker, hello?), and the mops (and since it is so easy to suck up the globs of dog hair, it makes me slightly more fond of my dog).  If you are interested in the body stuff, email me first, because some products have ingredients that make me raise an eyebrow.  

I put a link on the top of my page called Ms. Daisy's Natural Cleaning for those of you who get updates in your email but don't visit my page - so come on!  Come visit me and check it out!

Happy non-toxic cleaning, my peeps!

Peace, love, and keep it clean,  
Ms. Daisy

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Irony, vol. 2

In my last post, I wrote about how not to get sick, but I forgot to add two very important things.  

1.)  Drink lots and lots of good, filtered water to flush the nasty out of your body.  
2.)  Do not write a post about NOT getting sick, because then you will obviously be tested on this point and will wake up at 3:00 in the morning with a sore throat, wherein you will go slam some apple cider vinegar and gag.  

Awesome.  Merry Christmas Eve! 

Peace, love, and can I have another shot, please,
Ms. Daisy

Monday, December 22, 2014

Don't Get Sick!

'Tis the season for sick to swirl amongst the masses.  With many family gatherings (and you have no idea what "many" is until you've met my peeps) and work parties, and boogery sniffling children at church who sneeze on the people in the pew in front of them - you have quite the chances of exposing yourself to utter plethoras of germy wonders.  Why just last week, I got to hold a small actively barfing child.  It's pretty much everywhere.

Must.  Resist. 

Must.   Stop.  The.  Germs.

But how?

Well, I am not a doctor, although I pretty much pretend that I am, and in fact, at certain points in time I feel that I am at least 70% more awesomer (this grammatical structure is nearly proof of it RIGHT THERE) than doctors, so take my little plan of wonders however you want to take it.

But I digress.

Okay, so last week I was exposed to the boogery-est, most coughing in your face offsprings, and as I previously mentioned, as an extra bonus, I got to hold onto a barfing little.   (Please mail all Awesome Mom Awards right this way.)  I was pretty much bathing in germs, wearing them on my clothes, styling my hair with them, pushing them into my eyes and drinking them (tastes great with kombucha and chia seeds).  Now it is okay to occasionally get sick, but it is not okay to get sick when you are supposed to have a weekend of double parties and host twenty something people in your eleven square foot house.  You have to be legit healthy and halfway to crae crae with energy.  I needed all of my faculties and then half of someone else's to pull this off.  No sicky allowed!

What to do?

I pretty much went ballistic with every single immune boosting thing I could possibly think of.  Let me share the list.

I started feeling the tickle thing in the back of my throat and then the weakness and the cold sweaty thing and I "oh no you didn't-ed" right over to my awesome non-pharmaceutical medicine cabinet and started with Cold Calm and a few squirts of Sovereign Silver.  I popped Cold Calm every twenty minutes or so for two hours and I started feeling better - just in time for party #1 with the divas.  I then proceeded to drink boiling water poured over chopped ginger, half a squeezed lemon, and a spoonful of raw honey (which probably wasn't "raw" anymore after I dunked it in that hot of water.  Yeah.).  Now you can't just waste that ginger, you gotta eat those spicy bits.  Down the hatch.  Luckily, my dear sweet friend made a turkey and she had roasted an entire bulb of garlic - so I threw a clove of that down the hatch too.  Breath what?

The next day was filled with organic food sourced vitamin C, homemade chicken broth, more garlic, more ginger and a nap.

I was feeling better and better.  I think I floated over and past the coughing, boogery wonders, and then the feeling in the stomach hit me.

Oh crap.

No-no-no-no-no-no-no to the exponential infinity power.  It was T-minus twenty hours until the party at my house.  Stress + lack of sleep = lowered immune system = I am in trouble.  I was not going to restore loads of energy because there were still a pile of things to do (um, throw self across the floor playing volleyball in a league full of uber-competitive players, for one) and clean the house.  This. Cannot.  Be.  Happening.  WhatamIgonnado?

Don't panic.  Eat a pile of ginger, drink a giant bottle of Kevita coconut kefir, and alternate chugging down the kombucha.  Basically, ingest every probiotic possible.  And pray to God for help.

God helped.

So far, I've made it out okay.  If you ever are starting to feel sick, that is the time that you should boost your immunity, increase your probiotics, and consider it a serious job to get yourself some true nutrition (and see your food as serious instead of for fun - no sugar, just nutrient dense goodies). 

Here's my quick cheat sheet for some suggestions to think about if you come across any of the common winter yucks.

Sore throat:
- Sovereign silver squirts in the throat (Seriously?  You don't have this yet?  Run.)   
- shots of organic apple cider vinegar (with water if ya' ain't manly enough to take it straight) - and then slam down your cup and make a breathy, growly, manly sound while squinting your eyes in a way that may or may not be considered dramatically necessary
- gargle a mixture of hot water, salt, and vinegar
- netipot (stainless steel preferred, let's not BPA the inside of your brains) in case you have nasal drainage, which affects your throat
- up the Vitamin C dose (>1000 mg/daily)
- no sugar in your diet until it's gone (don't give the bad guys bullets)

Stuffy nose:
- netipot (mine is here )

- Sinu-orega nasal spray (HOLY COW this works.)
- sniff at eucalyptus and peppermint essential oils
- no sugar in your diet until it's gone
- homemade chicken broth with onions, garlic, carrots, celery, and celtic grey sea salt

Yucky stomach:
- drink a mazillion ounces of kombucha (this is an approximate dosage)
- alternate with a bazillion ounces of coconut kefir (also approximate)
- chomp up some whole ginger bits
- avoid high fat/dairy or whatever else makes you feel worse
- Bieler broth (steamed green beans, zucchini, parsley and celery with the water it steamed in, dropped in a blender until it is green soup mush)

The best way to float over the sickies is to have a good immune system in the first place.  Keep exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep (>8 hours per night), and having a positive attitude.

In no time at all, you'll be up for secretly (or overtly) racing the other people in the pool and on the sidewalks.

Peace, love, and have some more garlic,
Ms. Daisy

Friday, December 12, 2014

Yep. Not the same.

I think most people operate under the assumption that for the most part, people are just like them.  No matter how crazy weird you are, you just kind of think that you're normal and yeah, sure, maybe people don't all like the same things, but we're pretty much running standard quo-ish-esque.  Right?

I have to admit that I do this same thing.

And then I am rather wildly shocked when people are not.

(See, even just typing that makes me realize how totally dumb it is.  But I can't help it!  I'm stuck in this paradigm!  Aaaah!  I can't get out!!)

The following blog will serve to prove the point about the weird people even thinking that they are normal.

Por ejemplo.  I was in Costco and I have a curious habit of looking into other people's carts to see what kinds of interesting things they are buying.  I mean, not like OCD ultra-compulsively or anything, but perhaps while standing in line and bored (since I don't have a smart phone to text/email/go into my own world away from society).  I will glance on as the person in front of me hoists up their goods upon the conveyor and THAT is the time that I have this paradigm breakdown.

It goes something like this in my head.

"Oh my gosh!  People really buy Honeycomb cereal!  (And cereal in general?  Do people actually BUY cereal?  Why?  It has no nutritional value at all.  Maybe they're making crafts with it.  He clearly needs glue.)  That's so funny.  I didn't think people bought cereal anymore.  Huh.  How about that.  Wow, what's that?  He's buying white buns?  Maybe he's planning on poisoning the pigeons or something, since that is full of high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, and various other non-food ingredients.  That guy over there has some Perdue chicken.  Maybe he doesn't know about the dark and window-less aluminum houses, the mini-backhoes to scoop up the dead ones, and the minimum waged workers who care nothing about the animals.  I suppose he does a lot of physical activity to sweat out the arsenic."

And then I'm driving home and I look and see that there are cars at McDonald's.  People really still go there?  I thought that was so like, five minutes ago.  No,  seriously.  I am genuinely surprised that it is still in business.  I mean, if I think outside of my box, it could possibly be a business running in the black.  Why?  How is this possible?  What are those people DOING there?  Do they seriously NOT KNOW?  There are only two people I know who say they go to McDonalds - my mother (for their coffee and to torture me), and Julie when she is pregnant for the Angus burgers.  (Now wrap your head around the fact that SHE LOSES WEIGHT when she does this.  Julie, seriously.  How do you do it?) 

Why is this person buying flour?  Did their grain mill break?  Oh.  Wait.  Maybe they don't have a grain mill.  They should call me!  They could totally come over and grind some flour. 

And then I will be in a conversation with someone and they nonchalantly mention that they took Tylenol/aspirin/prescription meds/Nyquil/Advil/etc.  Do you know that scratched record sound?  Umm...what?!  Whyfor would you do such a thing?  (Maybe you've been watching the twenty thousand commercials on TV that suggest they will solve your problem.)  Once they suggest that their primary care physician suggested it, I begin resisting the urge to scratch my own eyes out.  This is closely followed with the feeling of resisting the urge to scratch the primary care physician's eyes out.  That is followed by the urge to poke the AMA in the eyeball.  With a Tylenol.


So, as you can see, everyone is different. No two people are not on fire. Awww.

Gotta go.  Time to drive round trip 50 miles to get local, free-range chicken eggs and get over to the farm for the milk.

Are you saying you don't do that?


Peace, love, and don't worry - I've got this corner of Weirdlandia covered,
Ms. Daisy

Monday, December 1, 2014

World War Leaf

I am not sure you are aware, but I am in this quasi-war with leaves.  I rake them all up, bag them, put them to the curb and then somehow - miraculously! - they return the next day.  This is usually due to the fact that my neighbors are not shall I put this...particular/crazy/type-A/neurotic about their leaf pick up.

Now this does not mean all of my neighbors.  In fact, the neighbors on either side of me are quite good about picking up their leaves.  However, when you go beyond that, we have some serious leaf failure going on.

This is compounded by the fact that my ratty neighborhood has several vacant houses and I will tell you right now that there is no way on earth that those owners/the bank/etc. are coming around to pick up leaves, exterminate rats, eliminate the thousand newspapers collecting on the front porch, monitor copper pipe robbers, etc.  It is a crying shame.

So these lazies are off in happy Out of Ratlandia Land, forgetting that they ever lived here.  This is not so cute for the neighborhood.  Not really improving our look, not really helping out with house values. 

Thus, the leaves blow.  They pile up, kill the vacant house's grass, get all wet and grossy, and then barf across my lawn.  It is not a nice sight.  Especially for Ms. Neurotic Leaf Warrior.

Yesterday I raked again.  It was the third time this week of raking.  The lovely blood blister on my thumb was nearly healing and callousing up from the previous attempts to clear the lawn. 

That was when I decided to do it.  Yes, dear peeps, I decided to march myself down the street with my lawnmower and get rid of their leaves.  I must admit, I did not this to be a charitable neighbor.  This was pure shock and awe in Leaf War.  Now, you also must know that I initiated my attempt while my dear hubby was at the store looking a muzzleloader (because deer hunting just isn't long enough with bow and gun season).  


Obvs!  It would have been way harder to sneak down the block with a lawnmower if he were here!  


Well, after an hour of this (and my hubby driving up and asking, "What on earth are you doing?!"), it was finished. 

Leaves - 3
Ms. Daisy - 4

Bring it.

Peace, love, and rake it up,
Ms. Daisy