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Sunday, November 22, 2015

I hate the Mockingjay 2 movie

I am about to go off into a flying rage about the Hunger Games: Mockingjay 2 movie.  If you haven't seen it but want to, I am going to include the ending of this movie in this rant so you may want to go elsewhere.

That was your warning.

I watched the first movie whenever it was that it came out and it was horribly disturbing to me.  The thought of sending people to kill each other in a fake weird televised cyberworld for entertainment is so sick and perverse that I couldn't get it out of my head for a week straight.  I wanted to puke when I thought of it.  

On Friday night I saw Mockingjay 2, the last of the Hunger Games trilogy. 

This movie is HORRIBLE.  (I can hear all of the faithful fans screaming, "Why?!")

Peeta.  That's why.

That and the blatant disdain for manly testosterone and the promotion of wimpy pansy pants men with zero cojones, you know, like Peeta.

Ga ga goo goo?
At the end of the movie, Katniss got out of her bed, walked down the hall, climbed into bed with lame Peeta (since he doesn't have a house and she is providing that for him, too), and he said, "You love me, real or not real?"  Now, I have to tell you, up to this point I had no question in my mind that she would eventually marry or be with Gale and that if she loved Peeta it was only because he was like some kind of suffering baby animal.  I figured she was using stupid Peeta (although I had no idea what for, since his positive qualities are: 1. can bake bread, and 2. can plant flowers.  I'm sure that Katniss could take care of figuring out how to get that done herself in about five minutes, so why would she want to hang around sad sack?) or she felt sorry for him since his brain was poisoned by Dictator Snow and she was just making sure to hang around him long enough until she knew he got better and then she could leave and go be with a real man.

Are you keeding me?

 When she said that she did love him, I literally put my hands on my head and closed my eyes.  MIND BLOWN.  What the HECK is going on around here?!  At this point of the movie, I almost got up and left.  I silently began muttering, "No.  You have got to be kidding me.  This is not happening."  The movie was ruined at that point and I could barely recall any redeeming qualities about why I wanted to see this stupid thing in the first place.

Peeta?  You want to be with Peeta, Katniss?  Are you freaking kidding me?  First of all, do you have a sight impairment?  Maybe you're legally blind?  Maybe you have severe dementia?  Yes, I know, looks are not everything.  I get that.  But seriously?  Have you seen Gale?  He's tall and extremely good-looking...and he's a soldier.  He protected your family, he can fight like a boss, he goes out in the woods and hunts with you, and he is capable of taking care of himself and you.  

 
Just on looks alone, Gale would have to be a murdering, molesting, crack dealer who eats children for breakfast in order for Peeta to even be able to be put into the same ring with him to compete.

And then there's Peeta.  He's short, has weird eyeballs, fluffy hobbit hair, he cries a lot, can't be trusted with any weapons, can't even take care of himself, and his favorite thought is probably, "Save me, Katniss!"  (That had to be said with a scrunched up baby face, pinkies in the air, and hands flapping for full effect.  Try it again.  There.  Now you get the full effect.)  Oh, but he can bake bread, so yeah, I mean, I totally get it.  Sign me up.  Right.  Why would any woman not be jumping at that one?  I'll bake my own dang bread, thankyouverymuch.  He is pretty much the definition of pure 100% unadulterated pansy.

I was literally bewildered at this twist of the movie.  

The complement of a strong woman is not a weak man.  The complement of a strong woman is a stronger man.  Katniss' character showed that she is more than capable of taking care of herself, which is what makes Gale's character so appealing as a match for her.  When you solely take care of yourself, it is even more special to have someone to be able to step in and take care of you.  You don't need it, but it is a gift.  It makes it all the more sweet and precious.  He was going to go with her when he figured out that she was going to go it alone.  He knew her and understood her enough to even see what she was going to do before she did it.  

Instead she picks painter pansy Peeta who we find playing in the dirt planting flowers.  Really?  And then has children with him?  What are you going to do if a bad guy comes to your house?
 

Peeta:  Katniss!  Help!  There's a bad guy at the door!
Katniss: Peeta, take the children and go hide and pretend to be rocks, I'll take care of this!  I have enough cojones for all of us!

My eyes are hurting from rolling so hard at the pathetic-ness of it.  Somebody give Peeta a lesson on sisu and push him out of a helicopter, please.

Perpetuating wimpiness (in general, but specifically in men) is not something to be applauded or rewarded.  This is perhaps what bothers me most about the movie.  So ugh.

Excuse me, I need to go do some pull ups.

Peace, love, and testosterone,
Ms. Daisy

 


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