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Thursday, September 17, 2015

Ms. Daisy's List of How To Be Healthy

What up, peeps!

Are you healthy?  Isn't it so nebulous to ask that question?  Most people have a knee jerk reaction to say yes, even though if you take a look at it, they really might not be.  It's kind of like, "How are you?" (Fine.)

Do you love lists?  Do you seek to check things off, to obliterate them from sight?  Oh my gosh, meeee toooo.  With that in mind, I thought up a nice short 37 item list of things you can do to be awesome.  You're so welcome.  You don't have to do all of them, I mean, I do all of if you don't want to, that's fine, you don't have to.  You could just be like 58% awesome, or 76% awesome, or whatever you want, it's totally up to you.

In 8th grade I was in love with Neil Patrick Harris.  GIANT POSTERS everywhere.

And now, without further ado, I present to you...

The How To Be Healthy and Awesome Checklist for Life

(I'm really sorry it doesn't come with check boxes.  I am secretly 90 years old inside and don't know how to make that on here.)

1.       Take vitamins every day.  Not crap vitamins.  Vitamins made from whole organic foods.  Take probiotics for your immune system and gut health.  Recommended brand: Garden of Life, Raw One (for women/men)

2.      Eat protein for breakfast.  Not wimpy protein.  Not stupid low-fat dairy stuff, though.  (If you want Greek yogurt, make it full fat, but don’t get yogurt with sugar in it.  Read the ingredients.)
3.      Exercise 5 days a week.
4.      Take turmeric.  Nobody wants cancer, diabetes, or other inflammatory diseases.  It cuts inflammation like crazy.  Take it with black pepper to increase uptake.
5.      Eat fermented foods.  (No, you can’t just drink a bunch of beer and pretend that was fermented food.)  Eat naturally fermented sauerkraut, kombucha, kefir, yogurt, ginger beer, sourdough bread, and any kind of fermented stuff you can get your hands on.  Even if it’s a little bit every day.
6.      Don’t expose yourself to unnecessary radiation.  Don’t hold your phone over your junk.  Don’t eat microwaved food.  Don’t sit on your wifi router or X-box.
7.      Go outside and put your bare feet on the grass.  It helps you sleep better at night.
8.      Drink tea.  Skip coffee.
9.      Only eat food that is actually food.  Only eat food that comes from a plant, an animal, a seed, or something naturally occurring.  Do even better, and make those foods free of pesticides (which cause ADHD, cancer, etc.).  If you can’t bear to eat all organically, eat the dirty dozen organically.  (The EWG's dirty dozen)
10.   Don’t spray Round-Up at your house.
11.    Take an Omega 3 fish oil.  Make sure it comes from a clean, reputable brand, otherwise you may as well just suck on some mercury and Fukishima.  Recommended brand: Nordic Naturals.
12.   Stop being addicted to sugar.  Use sugar as you would any other addictive drug – sparingly, if at all.
13.   Sleep well at night.  Get 8 hours.  Really try.  You don’t want your cortisol levels to flip out, it will make you feel crazy and give you adrenal fatigue.
14.   Listen to your body.  Are you tired?  Sleep.  Don’t be stupid.
15.   Learn stuff.  Read books.  Turn off your dumb TV.
16.   If you’re feeling a craving for something, wonder what your body really wants.  Salt?  You might need to use a full spectrum salt like celtic gray sea salt (please tell me you are not using crap white Morton table salt).  Sugar/sweet things?  Maybe you’re deficient in a vitamin that is present in a fruit – which one sounds good?  (Excuse me.  Did you just say "none"?  You're addicted to sugar.  Please see above.)  Eat it.  Chocolate?  Eat a square of 72% dark, no soy.  Your body wants magnesium.  Fat?  What about something with coconut oil or an avocado, or some nuts?
17.   Get lots and lots of vitamin D.  If you aren’t somewhere sunny, take a whole food based supplement.  100% of women with breast cancer tested had low or undetectable vitamin D levels.  I take 5,000 IU per day.  Sit out in the sun for 20 minutes and don’t use sunscreen.  Don’t wash yourself off after being in the sun, either.  Vitamin D is made on your skin and absorbed via your dermis.
18.   Stop using weird soaps and body products that have stuff in it that is killing you.  Throw your anti-bacterial junk in the garbage and never look back.  Go get some Dr. Bronner’s 18 in 1 soap.  Peppermint is good, but if you use it as a body wash, your nether regions might feel a little…minty cold.
19.   Eat fiber.  Chia seeds, prunes, flax seed, hemp seed, fruits and veggies.
20.  Stretch.
21.   Drink tons of water.  Make sure your water is clean.  Don’t drink fluoride, it makes you docile and numb.  Don’t use a Brita filter or a Pur filter (it adds in aluminum, hello Alzheimer’s). 
22.  Use stainless steel pots and pans and use cast iron.  Never use non-stick cookware.  You will die.
23.  Eat grass fed butter.  Enjoy it.  Smile when you eat it.
24.  Don’t use antiperspirants unless your plan is to rub toxins up your lymph nodes.
25.  Don’t work too much.
26.  When you aren’t well, seek out solutions that work with your body, not against it.  Many pharmaceuticals have a list of side effects that can destroy many systems and cause unbalance in your body.  Herbal medicine works with your body.  It is still medicine, though, so don’t be flippant about it.
27.  Live simply.  Don’t have too much stuff because it will have you.
28.  Use dryer sheets and fabric softener only if you want to destroy your endocrine system and kill your children.  (Recommended option: use wool dryer balls)
29.  Read the Bible.
30.  Look up.  Notice the stars, the clouds, the planets, the trees.  Don’t always put your face into a device.
31.   Opt for microfiber to clean with instead of chemicals.  Your home should be your protected sanctuary.  Don’t poison your well.
32.  Do physical labor.
33.  Express yourself creatively – painting, writing, building, creating, cooking, whatever.  Get a creative outlet and push on it.
34.  Don’t smoke anything.  It messes with your lung capacity and causes inflammation from particulate matter.  Tobacco is worse than marijuana.
35.  Don’t eat crappy oils.  Consume the good ones – olive oil, butter, coconut oil, and lard.  Avoid canola and vegetable oil like it is made of death.  Oh wait, it is.
36.  When you are feeling physically crunchy, go to a good chiropractor.
37.       Live passionately.

Okay, so there you have it.  It's pretty straightforward, right?  I mean, it might be a little teensy dramatic in bits, but really, I think it's just about right.

If you do all of these things, I want to know.  You can tell me how much better you're feeling and where you are on the awesome scale. I'd love to hear it.

Peace, love, and lists of pure joy,
Ms. Daisy 

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