Hi all my peeps!
Okay, so - check it out. I am so excited. Do you know what today was? Today was my first day of school. I'm going to be a health coach (and I'm going to get an A+++). I have been wanting to start this program for at least three years, but it wasn't the right time, and there wasn't the right funds, and all of that, but now it has fallen into place.
You get weekly modules that you have to finish that include lecture videos, and then you do some assignments and take a quiz. (I got a 100%. Duh.)
It opened at 9:00 a.m. I just finished the assignments and lectures for the week at 3:30 p.m. (I'm not sure I mentioned it, but I'm kind of excited.) Well, I mean, how else would you do it? You wouldn't wait until the last minute, right? That would be awful. It would make you gag and die! Right? I know. Everyone must be like me, I'm sure of it.
One thing that made me laugh aloud was that the main head dude said (and I quote), "You don't need to be the food police."
Well, that seems kind of counter-intuitive, doesn't it?
I mean, I kind of do need to be the food police. Perhaps he doesn't know me and my style.
Or perhaps I'll learn how to be more balanced this year.
No, probably not. What am I saying! The food police sounds kind of right up my alley.
Hey! What are you eating? Does that contain ingredients God didn't make? You better cut that crap out, you know you're just killing yourself, don't you? Do you want to be fatter? Why don't you screw up your metabolism with those partially hydrogenated oils, preservatives, and wild chemicals? You can even eat yourself to sickness, that sounds like a good plan! Have some more McDonald's, maybe you can ask for an extra order of Type 2 diabetes while you're there. Good plan. Seems like whatever you're doing is totally working.
I mean, it's that or this -
So, what do you think you should be doing to improve your health? Uh huh (nod and look interested). Wow. So, can you tell me how you feel about that? And can you tell me how you might be able to get yourself to do it? Wow, that sounds very healthy of you. Good job. Keep it up.
Obviously the first one is better.
What do you think? I was just talking to my Trader Joe's cashier about why people do things they know is unhealthy. What reasoning is there behind doing such things? If you could enlighten me, that would be great.
In the meantime, I have to go and knock some food out of people's hands now.
Peace, love, and Type A is for awesome,