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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

My new Valentine sweets

Can you imagine what I asked my hubby for for Valentine's Day?

Can you even guess?

A new neti pot?  Nope.  Flavored kombucha?  Not this time.  Organic fair trade 72% dark chocolate without soy lecithin?  Already got it.

Oh, m'dearies, this time, THIS time, I've asked for...get ready for flabbergastedness - two bags of...prunes.  Well, I mean, not just ANY prunes, of course.  Organic prunes, naturally.

I am obsessed with prunes..

I love them.

I run to the cupboard and promise myself I can just eat one.  Or two.  Shut the bag, shut the cupboard.  Walk away.  That was enough.

Oh but it SO WASN'T.

Just one more.  Just one delicious, chewy, sweet one more.  Make that two.

Oh m'gawsh, I'm going to have a bathroom party if I don't stop.  Aren't I?  Right?  Isn't that a thing? (If only I could believe the EU on this one...)  Daisy, get a hold of yourself!  Do you want to be sitting on the toilet for the next week?  Oh, that sounds horrid.  To console myself I shall eat a prune.  What?   NO!  Step away from the bag!

This is almost as bad as the 35 pounds of tomatoes episode. 
 Good heavens. Or...the fenugreek/maple syrup armpit obsession.  It's certainly along those lines.  Oh dear.  But what, pray tell, could possibly go wrong with eating two bags of prunes?

I mean, the EU has decreed (officially, I might add) that prunes are not a laxative.  I'm so relieved.  Except for the small problem that they are also the people who've decreed that water doesn't help dehydration..  I suppose you might not want to believe everything you hear... (But I do like their response - which was to challenge him who decreed such a thing to a prune eating contest.  Seriously.  The article is supposed to be informative but it's really just hilarious.)

Well, anyway.  I'd better run along now.  All of a sudden I feel the need to visit the bathroom.  Probably just coincidence, I'm sure!

Peace, love and take a back seat, heart-shaped chocolate box!
Ms. Daisy

p.s. I wrote the above post yesterday.  Let me just say that perhaps you ought to have one or two prunes and REALLY STOP.  I had to chug the kombucha to exorcise the screaming prune demons that were trying to slice the insides of my intestines with their talons for quite a while yesterday.  Good news is I feel much better now and probably am about four pounds lighter.  Silver lining, people, silver lining!

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