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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Zombies in the Mist

No, okay, not literally. Well, maybe. Halfway, anyway. I'm talking about zombies. Not the kind that have their arms out in front of them and come out at night under a full moon on Scooby Doo to chase Shaggy, but the permanently drugged-up kind we are fostering in our world through our upsidedown society.

The problem starts out because people aren't living how they should. They eat improper foods and quasi-foodlike substances and experience the detrimental results in their bodies. We avoid real food in favor of quick and pretend food, laden with chemicals and preservatives and develop a taste for them. (Let me encourage you to explore the wonderful world of making it yourself - from tortillas to bread, from salad dressing to cereal, and even fruit preserves, juices, butter, cheese, yogurt, ice cream, the whole nine yards. You can do this. Promise. I may be so bold to say that I think you might actually like it even better - for the experience of knowing how to do something yourself to the very taste of fresh, real food.) The majority of our society doesn't do the natural exercise we were designed to do through farming and other physical labor so we get all sloggy, sloppy and blobby. Combine this with a disconnect from figuring things out on your own and you get the recipe for a nation ready for a perfect zombie storm.

The big pharmaceutical companies jump in on this gleefully because the opportunity for making big money is easy peasy. You've got a whole world of people who go to their pharmaceutical-company-trained primary care physician. Instead of a physician trying to get down to the bottom of the problem and actually diagnosing a source (p.s. I don't believe that eating natural cholesterol causes high cholesterol - and if you haven't seen and read case studies of societies who consume enormous amounts of the said stuff, you might be surprised what you find.), they're trained to open their Giant Book of Pills and pick from their favorite colors to pass out to the pathetic and pained masses.

I have a problem with this. Seriously, why don't doctors get down to the bottom of it? Is it just too much work? Why aren't they doing blood work and urine testing to find out where you're imbalanced or what you lack or have an excess of in your systems? Why don't they ask you what you're eating or how much exercise you've been getting? Why don't they ask you what kind and how much work you're doing - are you stressed out? Do you have an outlet? Why don't they ask how much time you spend on your duff watching reality TV or with your face submerged into your iphone or on facebook? Why do they say they don't know where it came from and just give you a pill to mask your symptoms? Do you really realize how utterly idiotic this is? There's no fix anymore! It's all about finding a good drug for you.

Instead of something like: You have a desperate lack of potassium and Vitamin D in your blood makeup and far too high of a level of xyz. What foods have you been eating? Let's find what God made in nature (speaking of Vitamin D - is anyone else a little wide-eyed at the increasing lack of Vitamin D in our society as people hide in the shade 24/7 and wear sunscreen every day of the year? I'm sure there's no connection.) to increase your potassium and avoid such and such foods because they contain high levels of xyz.

If you've ever watched tv in your life, you've likely seen a drug commercial. If you've ever seen a drug commercial, you've seen something like this:

Part 1: Black and white film, sad, aching people with grimaces on their Lazyboy recliner.

Part 2: Sad person nodding at a doctor. Actor portrayal doctor wears a white coat while writing things down and then gives Sadface a prescription.

Part 3: Color film, Sadface is now briskly walking their dog down a sunshiney sidewalk, waving to their neighbors, high-fiving their spouse and climbing mountains.

Voiceover: Do not use Drugox if you are nursing, pregnant, ever want to become pregnant, ever want to father a child, or ever want to use your limbs again. Side effects include blindness, deafness, loss of limb, paralysis, kidney failure, suicidal thoughts, yellowing of the skin and eyeballs, fingernails turning into liquid, and death. In most cases, these problems will not clear up on their own and you should talk to your doctor so he can give you more prescription drugs so you can have more side effects and then take some more drugs that we made to combat the side effects you'll have from taking our chemically-based drugs. Do not take Drugox if you are already taking other drugs because you will slowly die. Unless you want to. We have a drug to help you use those drugs together. Ask your doctor about it. I bet he can solve your problems stat.

Yes. Well. Close enough, anyway.

I'm sure a giant mass of weak, flabby, drugged-up dumbheads who sit around on their squooshy tushies with their face glued to the screen of their tv, iphone and computer absorbed into their tiny lives must be good for something. Hmm, I wonder what that might be. Well, let's not try to guess or learn from history.

Hurry!  Back to America's Got Talent!

Don't forget your 5:00 pill. 

Peace, love, and zombies,
Ms. Daisy

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