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Monday, August 25, 2014

I repeat: do NOT get a dog. Part 8,000,000

Let's say you've got company coming over tomorrow night.  Let's say they've not been to your house before.  Let's say they live in Nicelandia and you live in Raton Rouge.

What, pray tell, will happen?  

a) your dog will poop all over the kitchen floor on Saturday morning (before anyone is awake)
b) your dog will poop all over the basement steps and they are carpeted  
c) your dog will poop up the walls and on your stove
d) your dog will poop 100% pure liquid
e) your dog will poop only on carpeted areas avoiding the 80% uncarpeted, 50's vintage tile in the basement (because that would be too easy to clean up)
f) your dog will poop a smell that no human has ever smelled which makes your husband run, screaming, far far away in the other direction, where he goes and gets a mask to even be in the house
g) yes, I am going to include it: all of the above

If you guessed "g", well, by golly, you're right!  Tell them what they've won, Johnny!  

Johnny: a newwww DOG!!

Feel free to come pick her up anytime.

Peace, love, and I've washed it 4 times and I can still smell it,
Ms. Daisy

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