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Monday, March 25, 2013

I'll have a placentaberry, por favor.

Do you even know what I said to my friend today?  Can you even imagine the question I asked her?  I am pretty sure it may be a question you have (1) never even THOUGHT of and (2) would never actually come out and say if you were to think it up.

Okay, let me preface this a bit.

This friend is totally awesome crunchy granola.  She makes her own deodorant, laundry detergent, shampoo, kefir, the whole nine.  She was a model. She lived off of the land in Mexico.  She totally just used her scarf today to wrap her new baby up in and make a sling while she was at church.  She is just TOTALLY COOL.  She has studied nutrition and could hang with Sally Fallon.  Like, F'REALIES.  So you get me, right?

I walked up to her and it was the first time I had seen her since she had her new baby - I came over to see how she was doing and to check her little bundle out.  Then, I did it.  I said it.

I said...well...I said, "Did you eat your placenta?"

She looked at me with wide eyes and looked around quickly left and right and said, "Yeah, why?  Did someone tell you I did?  How did you know?"

I didn't.  But since you're pretty much supposed to (and with her nutritional and granola background), I figured she would be someone I could ask who wouldn't ask me  if perhaps I just lit up a doobie in the ladies bathroom before the 11:00 service.

I then asked her if she cooked it or dried it and had it put into pills and she just said that no, she just ate it raw.

This girl just got like 500,000 street cred points.  SHE ATE HER PLACENTA RAW.  She is a freakin' BOSS.

Okay, before you barf, scream and pass out - she didn't just bite it and rip off pieces like a savage beast - she did it the civilized way: she put teensy bits of it into a berry smoothie.

Yes, I am serious and YES, I think she is exponentially awesome.

Are you saying to yourself, "WHY ON EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTTTH would anyone do that?!  Oh my gawwwwwshhhh!!!!!!!!!!  Bleargggggg!!!"?  Well, don't.  I am here to tell you why someone would.

First of all, have you any children that you labored out through your body?  If you have gone through that oh-so-totally-lovely experience, you know that afterwards you feel as if you'd like to sleep for maybe four years to catch up on some energy.  But alas, that is where the hilarious irony of life begins: now you have a newborn and you will be awake every two hours for the next month and a half whether you beg, plead or temporarily go insane.  

It's like having the biggest workout of your life and your body going freakish alien on you and then not being allowed to sleep or rest until your child is 8 and a half years old.  It's great.  

The placenta is filled to the top with vitamins, minerals and vital repair.  It is high in B vitamins (B6, I think) and has specially designed chemicals that are even made to prevent post-partum depression.  It is reported that the other benefits are that women who consume their placenta have a faster recovery time (they stop bleeding sooner) and some proclaim the benefits of increased or earlier milk production.  Some people get all crazy energized when they consume it.  I don't know.  Unfortunately, I never knew I was supposed to do this in the era when I was having the littles so I cannot speak from experience. 

I did, however, read a story about someone who turned hers into pills and then ate like 8 of them in one day and thought she might be able to jitter her way through a veritable marathon.  I think you're supposed to eat like 2 of them per day.  

Anyway, if you're pregnant, what do you think?  Would you ever consider it?  Is it too weird for you?  

But either way, if you would or wouldn't - wouldn't it be SO GREAT for you to see the faces of people after you told them you did such a thing?!  Now THAT right there would give me enough courage to at least try it once.

Peace, love and have you tried it with strawberries?
Ms. Daisy

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