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Thursday, February 19, 2015

My natural medicine cabinet: muscle aches, ovarian cysts, parasites

This week I've been talking about the contents of my natural medicine cabinet.  If you've ever wondered about how to deal with a cold, the flu, a sore throat, or a headache in a more liver-friendly way, take a look at the previous posts.  

Natural Medicine Cabinet: Part 1
Natural Medicine Cabinet: Part 2

Today kind of covers some issues that are a little different: muscle aches, ovarian cysts, and parasites.  Yummy.  

Let's start with muscle aches.  If you have done something insane a la weekend warrior, or you thought you were 21 when you are really near double that (or more), you may end up spending a few days walking like an old grumpy hunchback who feels the pain of age at every foot fall.  

What to do!  No, not Bengay.  No, not even Icy Hot.  May I recommend the arnica sprays/gels/tablets?  Arnica is crazy awesomesauce when it comes to dissolving the pain of sore muscles.  I have used Traumeel (gel and tablets), and the gel is crazy good.  There is also Magnesium oil (plus arnica), but for some people they initially feel a stinging sensation.  It doesn't last, though, and only some people get it, so don't be too scared.  The Traumeel (as you can see on the box) is counteracted by peppermint, so if you're using Dr. Bronners peppermint castile soap (which you TOTALLY should be!), you'll have to switch to lavender or something for the duration.  Same for your toothpaste and whatever you have that has peppermint in it.  One of my littles had a sledding accident and had a back injury - the Traumeel gave instant relief (and yes, we did go to the emergency room in case you thought I just slathered on some Traumeel and crossed my fingers).  

As I've said before, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, nor am I approved by the FDA (F-duh), so seek professional medical attention when you need it.  (Oh how I love you, you litigious society!)

Okay, getting a little bit less common: ovarian cysts.  
Also helpful: DIM

I mean, at least 50% of the population cannot possibly have this problem, so I have to categorize it as such.  About four months after giving birth to an early stillborn baby, I had some issues in my ovaries.  It felt like sharp-toothed rats with knives and swords were living in my ovaries and trying to murder me from the inside out.  Perhaps it was because of a crazy hormone imbalance, but that's what was going on.  I was sad because I was certain that I was dying of cancer - first a dead baby, now a dead me.  Come ON, life!  Can't you give me a break?  

After suffering for a few months, I decided to go to the doctor's office and get an ultrasound to face my fate.  The poor ultrasound technician was ironically the same person who had to run out of the room at my 20 week appointment (six months earlier) to get the doctor and midwife to tell me that there was no heartbeat in my unborn son, so she was NOT TOO EXCITED to see me again, horrified at what news she'd have to tell me now.  Because she remembered me and felt sorry for me, I think she tolerated my questions a bit more than  she would have otherwise.  She scanned my ovaries and I saw some weird stuff (I figured it was giant cancerous tumors and I better spiffy up my last will and testament), so I asked her point blank if she knew what that was, if it was totally abnormal and I was going to probably hear really bad news.  She admitted she was not really allowed to tell me anything and she was not a doctor, but she was pretty sure it was just some regular cysts, even though there were like eighty million of them.  The doctor called and confirmed that I was not going to die anytime soon (thank you very much).  This did not help me in the department of 30-60 stabbing pains an hour for 4 months, though.  I couldn't bend or move (or breathe or walk) without feeling horrible stabbing pains that would at times cause me to become momentarily paralyzed.  

But now that I knew what they were, I could attack them.  Honestly, I didn't know where to start, but I started reading.  The most helpful and specific information came to me through a website run by RNs, doulas, and others in the medical field who have a penchant for natural treatments.  (Find them here)  I did Wobenzym, DIM, and maca root.  They have other suggestions like a castor oil flannel pack (I've heard good results about that).  The link provides dosages and you can figure out exactly what you should take throughout the day.  I believe they also offer a service for private one-on-one counseling if you have specific questions and concerns and would like someone to follow you through your issue.

After a week, I realized the stabbings were decreasing significantly.  After two weeks, it was even less.  After a month, I was down to only about one pain a day.  After that point, it spread out infrequently and then went away completely.  At that point, I obviously stopped taking the Wobenzym, DIM and maca.  I have not had a problem since then and from later ultrasounds, they have gone away.  Thank you, Jesus.  

Lastly, the parasites.  
Ominous...kill the parasites...
My husband saw some crazy thing online a few years ago and was convinced we were just crawling with parasites, which really grossed me out to the point that I wanted to be sure I wasn't crawling all over inside with some tapeworm the size of my kitchen table. At this point I ran to the health food store and asked what would be a good parasite detox and took it.  I really don't think it was necessary, I didn't see any weird living (or previously living) anacondas coming out of me even after a couple weeks, so I stopped.  But maybe it helped.  I didn't feel any different, however.  But maybe YOU would.  I liked the smell of it, it has clove in it, so I didn't mind taking it (reminder: this is not a good and valid reason to take something medicinally), but I decided I was probably okay and then gave it up.  

Otherwise, you could get one of those zapper things.  Have you heard of them?  It actually works when you have a cold, too!  Strange but true.  It says it works by stimulating your immune system.  That's all I want to say about it, mostly so you don't think me weirder than I am.  

Yeah, like that's possible.  

Peace, love, and get well, 
Ms. Daisy

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