The only way to console myself was to Google "I am a jerk", which led me to a quiz, which I dutifully took and failed (or passed - whatever you call it when you are a jerk). This plunged me into more sentiments of disturbing-ness.
I had to climb out and distract myself from myself. But how? (I mean, besides the part where you go and say you are a jerk and will you forgive my horridness.)
Oh! Yeah! Reading funny t-shirts on Zazzle. I submit, therefore, the evidences of my pathetic evening pre-Christmas.
Peace, love, and don't be a jerk in the first place,