Search it!

Monday, January 19, 2015

New! Try Dog Bag!

Are you tired of sweeping and vacuuming thirty times a day?  Do you wish you could shave your dog bald just to rid yourself of all the gobs and piles of dog hair that curl up like stray tumbleweeds in the corners of every single room?  Do you find dog hair in places that makes you scream your eyes off?  

Get ready for freedom and joy with the new Dog Bag!  Simply trim to size for the legs and tail, and tie it up around the neck, and you're all set!  

No more shedding on your clean floor!  It collects inside the bag so you can just dump it out in the wind outside.  Environmentally friendly - the birds can now have cozy nests with the amount of hair you're flinging to the wild!  

No more backbreaking work of sweeping, scrubbing, and vacuuming like you're Cinderella on crack.  With Dog Bag you can sit down and enjoy your evenings!  

Imagine: no more finding stray dog hairs on towels, couches, carpets, coats, clothing, or embedded into the hideous stair carpets!  Your life will instantly break out in the hit song from Annie, "Easy Street", as you waltz around your home, mocking at your now rarely used broom!  

Dog Bag comes in packs of 60 for only $14.99!  Go to your favorite retailer and demand that they carry the original, the best, the only: Dog Bag!

(Note to panicked people who love dogs more than their own eyesight: No animals were hurt in the making of this advertisement. Dog wore Dog Bag for about three minutes to take a picture and was positively reinforced for her "prettiness" throughout the experience - although I would have liked to try it out for a good 24 hours.  If you'd like to "rescue" my dog from me and what you perceive as inhumane treatment, please email me and I will send you off with all the supplies you need, minus the $150 a month for special food and drugs for her EPI disease.  Local pick up only, and a short interview required.  Thank you for your concern.  The world is a better place now.)

No comments:

Post a Comment